Season: Two — Episode: 2 Director: Robert de Lint — Writer: Mark Farrell & Paul Mather — Aired: October 12, 2004 — Viewers (millions): N/A Summary: Brent is shocked to find out his parents never married but Oscar and Emma are talked into a splashy nuptial ceremony by an unlikely wedding planner. Hank disputes Brent's ownership of a Darryl Sittler rookie card he claims he unfairly won when they were kids. Lacey makes it her mission to help Oscar with a problem he's not aware that he has.
A wedding is wonderful event. But, as you have seen, it can also be a swirling, screeching Hell on Earth.
At the Leroy's, after cleaning out the basement, Brent is delighted to find a Darryl Sittler rookie card. After Emma finds a photo album with baby pictures of Brent, he asks Emma and Oscar why he's never seen any pictures of their wedding. Oscar says they never were married and as Emma explains the passion she and Oscar once had, Brent leaves. At Corner Gas, Hank and Wanda are shocked, at the Sittler card. In passing, Brent also mentions Emma and Oscar aren't married. While holding the card, Hank reminds Brent that he lost it to him in a game of "Knuckles" when they were eight. Brent takes the card back and as Wanda calls Brent a bastard, he's retorts he prefers to be called a love child.
I haven't changed a bit.
At the Ruby Cafe, Oscar's perturbed to find a ketchup bottle with the word "catsup" on it. Karen and Davis tell him it's a legitimate spelling of the condiment. As Oscar looks at the bottle and repeats "catsup" slowly, Lacey walks behind him and stopping, believes Oscar is having difficulty sounding out the word. Later, as Wanda tells Lacey that Emma and Oscar aren't married, Lacey accuses her of jumping to conclusions and then tells her Oscar can't read. Wanda laughs and assures her Oscar can read and jokes that Lacey needs more evidence. In front of the Police station, Hank asks Karen if Brent winning the Sittler card while playing "Knuckles" entitles him to the card. Karen tricks Hank twice into replaying the game and smashes him on the hands.
At the Ruby, Brent confirms to Lacey that he technically is a bastard. Joking that he's not going to have a wedding for his parents, Davis overhears and enthusiastically starts to discuss wedding details with Brent. At the Dog River Hotel, Hank argues that the Sittler card belongs to him and challenges Brent to play "Knuckles" for it. Refusing, Brent catches Hank replaying the game when they were eight and raps him on the hands. At the Leroy's, Davis is unsuccessful in convincing Emma and Oscar to get married until he mentions all the wedding gifts. Davis then escorts them to the Hotel where he announces their nupitals. Shocked, Brent leaves his hands out and Hank raps his knuckles.
You owe me another Sittler.
At the Ruby, Oscar tells Lacey that he's leaving the wedding planning to Emma. However, Davis has taken full control and Emma is ambivalent. Giving Oscar a kid's book, Lacey watches as Oscar focuses on the pictures. Convinced he isn't literate, she asks him to read the book and they'll discuss it later. Walking to Corner Gas, Hank still insists that Brent give him the Sittler card. At the Ruby, Oscar takes his glasses off and struggles to see the words. Lacey misinterprets this as Oscar having difficulty reading and encourages him. Arriving at Corner Gas, Hank continues to harangue Brent. Wanda asks Hank to recreate how he lost the card and as he does, she raps him on the knuckles. Heading to the Hotel for his stag party, Oscar is angry that Brent can't be his best man as he's giving Emma away.
Keep trying, Oscar. You can do it.
At the Leroy's, the ladies host a stagette for Emma. As Emma expresses thankfulness that the party is tasteful, Wanda has to push a male stripper out the door. Karen and Wanda begin to argue about who should have the Sittler card. At the stag, Paul serves drinks and learns Hank and Oscar are both mad at Brent. Karen and Wanda's argument becomes heated and a bored Lacey asks the stripper's opinion on the matter. Paul advises Oscar that it's "important to put things in writing" and that he should get a pre-nup. The next day at the Ruby, Lacey takes Oscar's request to "put things in writing" to mean he wants to learn to write and says she support him. At the Leroy's, Oscar tells Emma that Lacey thinks they need a pre-nup. An angry Emma moves towards Oscar, causing him to step backwards and fall.
Lacey said we had to.
At the Community Church, Hank turns a conversation with Brent about the wedding rehearsal into a demand for the Sittler card. Karen and Wanda are present and continue to argue the legalities of whether Hank should have the card or not. Oscar, wearing a neck brace, accuses Emma of hurting him and is angry with Brent, as he has no best man. As Lacey arrives, Oscar blames her for his hurt neck and Hank says the wedding was Lacey's idea. As Davis escorts the minister into the church, he describes the elaborate preparations he's made for the wedding. Reflecting that those involved in the wedding are friendly, the two enter the church to find everyone arguing loudly.
This is a pretty friendly community.
At the Ruby for the rehearsal dinner, Brent and Hank rue the fight over the card as it's ruining Karen and Wanda's friendship. Brent curses Darryl Sittler who hits his fingers while hammering a nail. Brent tells Hank they have to find a way to make everyone happy again. With everyone seated, Oscar stands and blames Lacey for the fight he and Emma had. Indicating he's going to read an apology note, Lacey tells him not to embarrass himself. As Lacey says Oscar knows what's she's talking about, Emma shifts uncomfortably and is surprised that Lacey "knows." Asking Lacey to explain, she tells everyone that Oscar can't read to their laughter. Insisting Oscar can't read, Lacey picks up Oscar's apology note and sees she's wrong. Worried her foolishness will be written up in the Howler, Wanda tells her the top story is a new by-law.
It's like I've been cursed.
Emma stands and thanks Davis for planning the wedding and jokes that he used the police budget to finance it. Davis laughs nervously and Emma confesses that she and Oscar were married but they're embarrassed as to the circumstances. Davis demands an explanation and Emma and Oscar explain they had an Elvis wedding. Accepting Hank's guess that the minister was dressed as Elvis, Brent wonders why they didn't just say they lost the photos instead of lying they weren't married. As Josh serves, everyone starts to eat except for Davis, who broken up, leaves. Later at Corner Gas, Brent has a solution that satisfies everyone. Hank gets the card, sells it to Brent, Karen is right that Hank should've had the card and Hank is supposed to use the money to pay back a debt to Wanda, but doesn't. Brent vows they never mention Sittler again and eating lunch, Sittler shudders. Emma and Oscar burn their wedding photos in which they are dressed as Elvis.
It was the Sixties. It was a different time.
Brent would later use the picture of himself as a baby for the cover of a photo album for a belated Mother's Day gift for Emma. ("Mother's Day")
At Oscar's stag, Brent has a digital camera which he has no difficulty taking a picture with. However, a year later, he'd buy a digital camera which he couldn't operate. ("Picture Perfect")
When Hank sees the Ruby decorated for Oscar and Emma's wedding rehearsal dinner, he says it looks like a gay bar. Brent notes Hank did this before, upon seeing the cafe after Lacey took ownership and redecorated it. ("Ruby Reborn")
Oscar mentions he and Emma have been married for 35 years, making their wedding year 1969.
Emma says that she and Oscar were married in the 60's in an "Elvis wedding." At the end of the episode, their wedding photos show them dressed in 70's Elvis jumpsuits.