Season: One — Episode: 2 Director: David Storey — Writer: Brent Butt & Mark Farrell — Aired: January 29, 2004 — Viewers (millions): 1.06 Summary: When a tax man comes to audit Corner Gas, Oscar and Hank plot to humiliate the auditor. Unfortunately for them, Emma's excellent record-keeping throws the whole operation into chaos and Hank learns you shouldn't carry out a humiliation plan after you've been drinking. Meanwhile, Lacey's approach to selling coffee doesn't fly with Davis.
I'm not the tax man, I'm a tax man. Saying the tax man is just a little dehumanizing, thank you very much.
At the Ruby Cafe, as Josh cooks, Brent reads the Howler and tells Lacey that her Aunt Ruby gave unlimited coffee refills. Lacey doesn't believe him and Brent is alarmed to hear coffee costs $1.50. Called away to Corner Gas, Brent meets Marvin Drey, a tax man who works for Canada Customs and Revenue. Drey is offended when Brent calls him the tax man and insists on being called a tax man. Drey asks to see Oscar but thinking his father is in trouble, Brent responds to Drey's questions with ones of his own. Lacey brings Davis and Karen a bill for their coffee. Davis is offended as Ruby used to give the officers free coffee. Lacey stands firm and when Karen offers to pay, Davis glares at her.
Tommy Douglas fought for free refills.
Drey persists in seeing Oscar causing Brent to lie where he is and then mention he can't turn over his father, out of loyalty. Oscar arrives and insults Brent, causing Brent to tell Drey he'll tell him whatever he wants. Lacey gives Hank his bill and when he starts to protest, Lacey snaps at him that food isn't free at the cafe. When Hank points out Lacey brought him the wrong bill, she apologizes and then regrets it when Hank complains about the price of coffee. Brent introduces Oscar to Drey causing Oscar to fly into a rage. Brent mentions Drey just wants to see the previous year's sales receipts but Oscar yells why Drey came in person instead of calling. Drey insists he did call which Oscar denies, but Drey did and Oscar complained why Drey didn't come see him in person. Brent asks Drey to visit the Ruby while he calms Oscar, resulting in Oscar believing Brent is on Drey's side.
My taxes pay for that suit you're wearing.
In town, Karen can see Davis is angry by the amount of parking tickets he's handing out. He accuses her of betrayal for not supporting his stance on free coffee for cops. At Corner Gas, Wanda wonders if the cute milk delivery man is coming and asks about Drey. Brent warns her about not calling Drey the tax man and she comments on article use. Oscar drags Hank into the Ruby and asks for his help creating a plan to get rid of Drey. Drey overhears everything and Oscar accuses him of being a sneak. Karen arrives at Corner Gas and asks to rent a movie Davis mentioned involving police betrayal and is shocked to learn the betrayer in the movie was shot.
You know who you are? You're Serpico.
Oscar brings Hank into the station whose plan is to get Drey drunk and photograph him doing something embarrassing. Hank's second plan is to get Drey drunk, give him a box with any papers and when it's revealed they aren't the sales receipts, Drey will let Oscar off. Brent and Wanda comment on the stupidity of the plans but Oscar likes the second plan. Wanda asks if Oscar has looked for the receipts. At the Ruby, Lacey serves Drey, who comments how odd the people in Dog River are. Lacey disagrees just as Karen arrives, begging Lacey to give Davis free coffee. She then goes into a paranoid rant and leaves. At the Leroy's, Oscar searches for the receipts and won't tell Emma what he's looking for. Lacey asks about Drey's job but once he tells her, she makes an excuse to leave.
You should just seduce this guy.
Finally telling Emma what he's looking for, Oscar doesn't believe a year before, Emma very emphatically told him where she was putting the receipts. Oscar was watching TV and laughed off ever needing the receipts. He ignores her when she again tells them where they are. Hank and Oscar both complain to Brent that Davis gave them parking tickets. Brent seeks out Lacey and tells her that he's imagined he's on a newscast with Lloyd Robertson in which the feud with Davis escalates and kills everyone in town except him. Lacey complains that she shouldn't have to pay for Davis' coffee until an eavesdropping Drey tells her how she can write off the free coffee as a business expense when filing the Ruby's taxes.
Who am I, Al Capone?
At the Dog River Hotel, Brent buys Drey a drink for helping Lacey. While Oscar lurks with a camera, a drunk Hank tries to get Drey to take off his pants and join him in running down Main Street. Hank gets spooked, leaving Drey bewildered. In the police cruiser, Karen calls Davis a baby until Lacey arrives. Faking fear of Karen, she tells Davis that coffee is free. Believing that Karen intimidated Lacey, Davis compliments her. At the hotel, Emma brings a box with the tax receipts to Oscar who complains that she never told him where they were. Lacey thanks Drey for his advice. Oscar slams the box in front of Drey, insults him and then has to stop Hank from executing his plan to mess up the papers. Later at the Leroy's, Brent eats with Emma and asks where she found the box of tax receipts. Exasperated, Emma says Brent was watching TV with Oscar when she told them both where she was putting them.
Yeah, the feds are comin', Ma.
Wanda mentions a cute milk delivery man who she would try to date years later. ("Wash Me")
Brent kids Oscar that he's recruited the "Desert Fox" to help him evade Marvin Drey. This is a reference to Erwin Rommel.
This episode was the first one to be filmed. The first scene filmed was Oscar looking for the tax receipts.