Season: Two — Episode: 17 Director: David Storey — Writer: Brent Butt & Andrew Carr — Aired: March 21, 2005 — Viewers (millions): 1.41 Summary: The Corner Gas Guzzlers meet Wes' "Wild Ones" in a softball game which a wager turns into a fierce competition. The Guzzlers face disqualification if Lacey doesn't show up in time and coach Oscar sows confusion. Davis and Karen deal with their teammates pretending their drinks are non-alcoholic while Hank breaks in a new glove.
Outside Corner Gas, as the pitcher of the station's slow-pitch team, the Guzzlers, Brent practices his throwing with Lacey who laughs that he only throws slow arcs. At the Ruby Cafe, Lacey denies Hank and Brent dessert squares, which she's made for the Harvester Club that's meeting there later. They remind her of the slow-pitch game and though not a good player, she needs to attend or they'll forfeit the game. They motivate Lacey by reminding her she has perfect attendance. Karen and Davis practice at the baseball field even though they should be working. At Corner Gas, Brent refuses to let Oscar be the third base coach until Emma points out he might ask to be on the team. At the Ruby, Hank shows Lacey his new baseball glove which she comments needs to be broken in.
This is stiff.
Oscar announces he's heading to the Liquor store to buy beer for the game. Wanda decides not to drink while Brent reminds them that they'll need to keep hiding the drinking from Davis and Karen. While practicing with Davis, Karen wishes everyone would stop hiding the drinking but Davis thinks they need to keep pretending they don't know drinking is going on, else it'll embarrass their teammates. Davis hits a home run which smashes a window, sending them both running off the field. At Corner Gas, Hank keeps dropping everything he tries to catch in his new glove while Emma, having played fast-pitch, looks forward to the game. Oscar arrives from the Liquor store, having talked to Wes, captain of the team they're playing later, the "Wild Ones." Oscar claims Wes bad-mouthed the Guzzlers even though Oscar was the only one making insults.
Brent and Hank meet Wes at the Dog River Hotel to smooth things over, but Paul stirs the pot so that the losing team will have to buy beer for the winning team. Brent and Hank insult Wes, up the bet to beer and nachos and call Wes crazy even though he says nothing to them. At the Ruby, Oscar shows Emma and Lacey his inane coaching signals. At the baseball field, while practicing, Hank keeps dropping balls while Wes' team arrives. Davis and Karen are called to Helen Jensen's house, whose window Davis broke. They retrieve the ball and blame the vandalism on kids. The Harvester's meeting having gone on for some time, Lacey comments on the minutia on the agenda. Reminded the slow-pitch game is starting soon, Oscar leaves and gives Brian his vote.
He also called you mambie pambies.
While practicing, Davis and Karen continue to blame kids for breaking Helen's window and everyone wonders where Lacey is. Lacey loses patience at the Harvester's meeting. At the field, Hank makes a point of pretending that the drinks aren't alcohol. Wanda mentions she's not drinking and Davis keeps up the fiction that he and Karen think the drinks are legal and don't need to be shared with them. Brent calls Lacey that she needs to hurry to the game and reminding her of her perfect attendance, Lacey vows to end the Harvester's meeting. Brent tells his team they need to delay and allow Lacey time to get to the game and hope that Wes doesn't notice they're one player short. Brent proposes that they play lousy to let the Wild Ones stay at bat. Lacey takes over as chair at the meeting and forcefully moves the agenda along, scaring Brian and Travis.
When don't you let them get on base?
One of the Wild Ones notices the Guzzlers are short a player resulting in a consultation of the rule book. Hank sees that as long as a player bats five times, they're considered present for the game. The Wild Ones plan to get out to win by forfeit while the Guzzlers vow to drop every ball to keep the Wild Ones at bat. Lacey brings the meeting to an end and shoos the members out of the Ruby. With no score in the second inning, Guzzler Wade strikes out bringing Wanda up to bat who also strikes out, even though she's sober. Emma finds the pitching so slow that she also strikes out while Brent recommends that Wanda take the edge off with a few drinks. With the Wild Ones at bat, an argument ensues where Wes insists he was out but Brent counters that Wes was safe. Noticing Lacey's arrived, Brent then agrees with Wes, ending the Wild Ones' inning.
Hey, no need to argue. You are out.
With no score in the fifth inning, Lacey gets on base, despite Oscar's signs being fouled by trying to swat away a fly. Cheered on by teammate Josh, Davis gets on base and the Guzzlers go up 3-0. Hank notices the beers are gone and a drunk Wanda slurs her words while at bat and doesn't swing at any throws. Due to Brent's lame pitching, the Wild Ones get many hits and lead 7-5 in the seventh inning. Emma continues to struggle at the plate and swings early, used to faster pitches. By the ninth inning, the Guzzlers hold an 8-7 lead and a Davis, Lacey, Karen double play brings the Guzzlers one out away from a win. A pop fly has four Guzzlers converging on the ball who all bump into each other. Flat on his back, the ball drops into Hank's glove.
Don't praise the glove!
The Guzzlers win and carry Hank's glove off the field in triumph. At the Hotel bar, Brent toasts the win, Lacey her perfect attendance while a drunk Wanda is in a world of her own. Hank protests his glove being praised. Karen reveals she knows the drinks at the game are beer which brings an awkward silence and a rebuke from Davis. Still at the baseball field, Oscar throws hundreds of pitches for Emma until she finally hits a home run. The ball flies through another of Helen's windows, breaking it, resulting in her cursing kids.
"Chuck Dragner's Pre-Owned Farm Equipment" is the only ad on the baseball field scoreboard. Chuck also sponsored the 17th Annual Dog River Talent Show. ("Cousin Carl")
Jackass!: Oscar calls Brent a jackass when he tries to distract Wes at a softball game by claiming there's a bear behind Wes.