Season: Three — Episode: 16 Director: Jeff Beesley — Writer: Mark Farrell & Paul Mather — Aired: February 27, 2006 — Viewers (millions): N/A Summary: Brent and Lacey battle for the title of who can best keep a secret with Karen stuck in the crossfire. Wanda's angry and perplexed when she is turned down for a credit card especially when she finds out Hank was approved for the same card. Oscar coaches Davis to his physical peak, at least according to an old Canadian standard.
At Corner Gas, Wanda tells Hank and Brent that she was denied a credit card. Learning that Hank was approved, he blames having to get a card on Wanda as she instituted requiring a card to rent videos from the station. She tells Hank that she did this at Brent's bidding, who was miffed that all the good movies were being rented out and preventing him from watching them. At the Police station, Karen is surprised to find Davis reading a Hardy Boy book and tells him that a physical fitness test for rural police is impending. At the Ruby Cafe as Josh cooks, Brent tells Lacey about Wanda not getting a credit card and she scolds him for being a poor confidante. She then reveals financial information about one of her customers.
Computer. It's so cold and impersonal.
At the Leroy's, Oscar tells Emma that Brent is using a computer to track video rentals and departs to complain to Brent, leaving a stack of unreturned videos sitting at home. Outside the Police station, Hank and Karen watch Davis retrieve a bunch of fitness items from the cruiser's trunk while Hank brags about his new credit card. Karen tells Davis he's going to have to actually exercise to get in shape. At the Leroy's, Brent grouses to Emma that Lacey thinks he can't keep a secret. She advises him to talk to Lacey and Brent ignores Emma's request to take Oscar's videos back. At Corner Gas, Lacey tells Wanda that Brent blabbed about her card rejection. While Lacey says Brent isn't a good confidante, Wanda believes she was turned down for a card for being a woman.
You complain a lot about Lacey.
After Karen tells Davis that a personal trainer would help get him into shape, Oscar offers to do it for $20. At the Ruby, Brent confronts Lacey about his ability to keep a secret. They agree to a contest to see who can get Karen to tell a secret to one of them first. Oscar shows Davis the Canada Fitness Guide, a government program from the 1970's. Davis expresses doubt so Oscar encourages him and imagines all the fitness activities they could do together. (♫ ParticipACTION song ♫) Davis refuses to participate. At the Ruby, Hank shows Lacey his credit card but she's already read about it in the Howler.
Do it with a partner, it's really smarter.
Do it in the water, it's where you ought to.
Do it on the weekend, it's not fatiguing.
Do it while you're groovin', it'll keep ya movin'.
At Corner Gas, Wanda's upset when Karen tells her that she pays more to have her shirts cleaned than Davis. Brent arrives and feinting concern, asks Karen to confide in him. Karen's confused and leaves while Wanda tells Brent to go buy jeans for less than a woman does. At the Ruby, Karen tries to talk to Lacey, who keeps interrupting her. Finally relating that Brent is acting weird around her, Lacey's disappointed and tells Karen not to confide in Brent. Brent arrives and tells Karen to not listen to Lacey. As Davis still resists following the Canada Fitness Guide, Oscar relates that he coached Brent to five golds. He mentions an Award of Excellence, above gold, that Brent never achieved, and that he tried to convince Ken Read to institute it at the Olympics.
I'm not crazy anymore.
At the Ruby, as Hank shows Brent and Lacey items he bought on a shopping spree with his card, he learns of their contest. He advises them to tell Karen an embarrassing story so she'll open up. At the Corner Gas pumps, Brent tells Karen he put oil in the windshield washer container but remembering it was in her car, Karen isn't sympathetic and doesn't confide anything to Brent. While training with Oscar, Davis confirms to Wanda that Karen pays more to have her shirts cleaned than he does so she calls him a chauvinist. Davis tries the first event in the fitness challenge but fails miserably. Hank arrives at Corner Gas in a car he rented with his credit card but is disappointed Wanda isn't there. Davis tells Wanda that Karen pays him to clean her shirts, explaining why it costs her more. He warns Wanda she may have been turned down for the card due to identity theft.
I'm still angry, but I'm also confused.
At the Ruby, Lacey tells Karen an embarrassing story which doesn't impress her. At Corner Gas, Hank returns to show off the car he rented to Wanda. She indicates her identity was stolen, hurting her credit score. When Hank tells Wanda he checked his score, but a credit card is required to do so, Wanda chases Hank out of the station. Not seeing any usefulness to doing the shuttle run, Davis quits training with Oscar. This leads Oscar to going home and timing how long it takes Emma to knit a sweater. At the Ruby, Karen confides to Emma that Brent and Lacey won't leave her alone. Emma's sick of Oscar hanging around the house and initiates a plan. At the Dog River Hotel, Karen brings Oscar all of Davis' Hardy Boys books and tells Oscar to blackmail Davis into starting up training again. Oscar tells Davis who isn't pleased.
I poured gravy on a piece of apple pie.
Using Hank's credit card, Wanda gets her credit report and finds that she was denied a card for not returning videos she rented from Corner Gas. Emma tells Lacey that she's a better confidante than Brent. Davis begins the fitness test with Oscar, doing the flexed arm hang. Emma tells Brent that he's a better confidante than Lacey after which he reveals why Wanda was denied a credit card. Davis completes the test with the shuttle run, achieving a gold, but Oscar considers anything less than the Award of Excellence to be a failure. At the Ruby, Brent and Lacey quit their competition, but each reveal that Emma said they were the better confidante. Emma tells them they are both bad at being one. Hank lies to Wanda he got rid of his card but actually, Paul cut it up when Hank exceeded his limit trying to buy a drink at the Hotel bar.
Can I at least keep the little hologram?
Brent and Lacey both think they picked a poor subject for their contest as they believe Karen has no secrets. However, Karen lied to Davis there was a fitness test for police officers which Emma advises her not to tell Brent or Lacey. In front of the Police station, Davis asks Brent if he's seen Oscar, as he's supposed to return his Hardy Boys books. Oscar crosses the street with the books in a bag, which tears, spilling the books on Centennial Street just as an SUV speeds towards them. Oscar heads for the curb but Davis runs onto the street and picks up some books. Returning several times, mimicking the shuttle run, Oscar times him. As Davis saves the last of the books from being run over, Oscar celebrates Davis' time, which is Award of Excellence level.
The original Hardy Boys books were written by Canadian Leslie McFarlane under the pseudonym Franklin W. Dixon.
Jackass!: After Davis can only jump three feet during the Canadian Fitness Award test, Oscar calls him a jackass.
"Don't just think about it, do it, do it, do it. Do it with a partner it's really smarter. Do it in the water it's where you ought to. Do it on the weekend it's not fatiguing. Do it while you're groovin' it'll keep ya movin'."