Season: Two — Episode: 7 Director: David Storey — Writer: Brent Butt & Andrew Carr — Aired: November 23, 2004 — Viewers (millions): N/A Summary: Lacey's new sandwich becomes a little too popular. A spike in traffic convinces Mayor Fitzy to install a traffic light. To pay for it he orders Karen and Davis to crack down on jaywalkers. Hank and Oscar engage in civil disobedience as Brent tries to calm everyone. Wanda is excited to get a tattoo until Emma offers to help her design it.
This is government mind control. Stop here, walk, don't walk, do this, don't do that, eat your peas.
At Corner Gas, after Wanda and Hank complain to Brent that the magazine rack is disorganized, he shows them his unique filing system. Later with Brent, Wanda discusses getting a tattoo and is overheard by Emma and Oscar. Wanda accepts Emma's offer to draw some designs for one and Brent shudders when he learns that his parents both have tattoos. In Mayor Fitzy's office, Davis and Karen are shown a study that traffic has increased in Dog River. Karen opines the study is a waste of money but grows concerned when Fitzy indicates the town doesn't need two police officers.
How bad do you wanna be?
At the Ruby Cafe as Josh cooks, Lacey gives Brent a sample of a new sandwich she invented, the "Ruby Club." Brent finds it delicious but still orders a chili cheese dog. As Fitzy mentions he plans to replace the town's four-way stop with a traffic light, he tells Davis and Karen to crack down on jaywalking and, that he's asked Gus to print an article on this in the Howler. At the Ruby, Brent reads an inflammatory headline on the traffic situation in the Howler and he and Hank both think it means large vehicles are driving through the town. Lacey thinks the traffic light is a good idea which brings derision from Hank. Oscar arrives and seeing the article, is incensed about the light.
Food before I order.
Brent tries to calm him down by pointing out another exaggerated article in the Howler but Hank agrees with Oscar. Assuring them that no one is going to take the crackdown too seriously, on Main Street, Davis slams Wade up against a building for not using the crosswalk. At the Ruby, Emma orders a Ruby Club while Oscar negotiates a free pickle from Lacey. While surveilling Main Street, Karen tells Davis she feels guilty handing out jaywalking tickets but he insists the law must be upheld. At the Ruby, Emma draws a design for Wanda's tattoo but it's so bad, Lacey doesn't recognize what it is. At Corner Gas, Brent cautions Wanda about her tattoo's placement. At the Ruby, the popularity of the Ruby Club results in customers ordering it only.
Too good to use the crosswalk?
At Corner Gas, Emma shows Wanda her designs. In private, Wanda and Brent discuss how bad they are but can't bring themselves to tell Emma, out of fear of her reaction. At the Ruby, Lacey expresses mild support for the traffic light but Hank and Oscar both think the town can do without one. Davis spots Brent jaywalking in front of the Post Office and tells Karen to ticket him. She runs across the street but after giving Brent a citation, he points out that she jaywalked to give him the ticket. Suggesting that giving herself a ticket too would set a good example, she radios Davis, who thinking she's reluctant to write Brent up, tells her the law must be upheld. Karen gives herself a ticket and Brent cautions her to use the crosswalk.
The law's the law, Karen.
At the Ruby, Brent orders a Ruby Club which Lacey refuses to serve him. Saying it's driving her nuts that nothing else is being ordered, Lacey refuses to scratch it off the menus as it would make them look tacky. At the four-way stop, Davis and Karen watch as Hank, Oscar, Wanda and Mertyl all arrive at the same time. Confused who has right of way and nearly crashing into each other, Davis comments that a traffic light is required. In front of the Police station, Hank cautions Oscar against jaywalking. Defiantly, Oscar runs across Main Street while Davis yells at him. At the Ruby, Lacey is avalanched with orders for the Ruby Club. Hank asks Brent for money to pay off his many jaywalking tickets and they watch as Oscar runs into the kitchen to hide from Davis and Karen.
At the Leroy's, Wanda lies to Emma she's allergic to tattoo ink and thanks her for the designs. Emma asks which one Wanda would have picked and mentioning one, Emma has to explain the design is of a squirrel with a hockey stick. At the Ruby, as Fitzy eats a Ruby Club, Hank and Oscar demand that the jaywalking enforcement be dropped and Wes tells him no one wants the traffic light. As Lacey says she's not against the light, she's accused of having an agenda and Wes tells her to stick to making sandwiches. Lacey announces that $1 from every Ruby Club will go to funding the traffic light which results in everyone banning it, secretly pleasing her.
Seeing Davis and Karen enter, Oscar hides in the kitchen again while in exchange for ripping up his tickets, Hank tells them where Oscar is. Brent rationally questions Fitzy on the traffic increase and everyone learns the numbers in the study came from an electronic traffic counter. Hank asks what the counter looks like and remembers driving over its hose repeatedly, inflating the count. Karen catches Oscar in the kitchen and once he learns Hank turned him, he offers to pay his fines off. Not mentioning that he's responsible for the faulty traffic count, Hank challenges Fitzy that the counter may be wrong. Fitzy promises to hold off installing the light until things are sorted out.
I'm engaged in civil disobedience.
After Karen hands Fitzy a jaywalking ticket, he indicates he'll wipe them all out, to everyone's cheers, except Davis. At Corner Gas, a jubilant Lacey tells Brent she hasn't sold one Ruby Club. Wanda rues that she'll never to able to get a tattoo or Emma will know she lied. Emma arrives and telling Wanda that she felt bad she couldn't get a tattoo, she gives Wanda a framed painting of the hockey squirrel design Wanda fibbed that she liked. As everyone stares at the awful image, Wanda's comment on it results in Emma questioning what Wanda means.
I painted that picture you wanted.
The Memorial Rink is visible behind Brent as Karen gives him a jay-walking ticket.