At the Town Hall, after Hank's idea to build a statue of something big to attract tourists is approved, a committee that includes Helen meets at the Ruby Cafe to decide what to build. There's no good ideas until Helen, citing Dog River's farming heritage, suggests building a giant hoe. Brent and Lacey recognize the double entrendre with "ho" (prostitute). Lacey challenges Brent to tell Helen why the hoe shouldn't be built, but he doesn't have the heart. At another town meeting, with Davis and Karen in attendance, Fitzy announces building the world's biggest hoe. As Davis jokes they're building the world's biggest prostitute, Helen overhears and slapping Davis, says he's a youngster with a filthy mouth. ("World's Biggest Thing") After Helen rents a bad movie from Corner Gas, she demands her money back from Brent and complains when he won't provide a refund. ("Cousin Carl")
While practicing for their slow-pitch game as members of the "Guzzlers", Davis hits a home run which smashes one of Helen's windows. Helen calls the police but when Davis and Karen visit her home, they retrieve the ball and blame the vandalism on kids. Later, after the Guzzlers defeat Wes Humboldt's "Wild Ones" but Emma plays poorly, she and Oscar stay after the game. Oscar throws hundreds of pitches for Emma until she finally hits a home run. The ball flies through another of Helen's windows, breaking it, resulting in her cursing kids. ("Slow Pitch")
Helen eats at the Ruby as Lacey gives Hank an electronic organizer ("Dog River Vice") and as Emma and Oscar write up their will and try to bribe Lacey by including her in it. ("Will and Brent") She offers to offers to do main course instead of jellied salads with Davis for the town potluck until Karen talks her out of swapping. Karen's moulds don't work and she has to go to Helen's to help. Later at the potlock at the Town Hall, Helen works in the kitchen. ("Mail Fraud") Helen's in the Ruby as Karen yells at Oscar to see if he's faking having a bad back. ("Fun Run") Helen drinks coffee in the Ruby as Wanda gives Hank the accounting books for the provincial audit. ("Safety First")
Helen's part of the mob that go to the Ruby to ask Lacey to convince Brent to not sell red windshield wiper fluid which Helen calls "devil juice." ("Outside Joke") After everyone in town learns they can buy a potato bowl like Emma's, in front of the Foo Mart, Wanda smashes a denizen's new bowl. Helen, who has bought two, gives one to the denizen. ("Potato Bowl")
Here, have one of mine.
After Oscar drives Davis and Karen nuts by insisting that they apply justice to every slight in order to meet their new slogan "No crime too small", they trick Oscar into surveilling a house with binoculars. Oscar is caught by the occupant, Helen, who calls the police. Davis and Karen threaten to arrest Oscar, citing their slogan. Oscar points out its stupidity and he's forced to agree to stop asking them to apply it. Helen still wants Oscar arrested but Karen belittles her concern. ("Seeing Things") During Dog River's mayoral election, Fitzy has a press conference where he proclaims he's adopting Hank's idea to paint statues of prairie dogs and put them around town to increase tourism. Helen thinks the statues should be big. ("Gopher It")
Having received a samurai sword from Dog River's twin town in Japan, Emma calls Fitzy, but doesn't say what they sent. Emma invites the twinning committee consisting of Fitzy, Karen and Helen over to see the gift. After Oscar takes the sword, the committee arrives at the Leroy's where Emma lies that the twin town only sent a letter, which she burnt, indicating a gift they would send. The committee walks past Davis' house where Oscar and then Davis are using the sword to chop at the branch. After the sword is used by several people around town and is badly damaged, at the Hotel bar, Emma meets with twinning committee and shows them the sword. They think Emma is proposing to send it as Dog River's gift since many people around town used it and it looks Japanese. Emma doesn't dissuade them and accepts their compliments. ("The Eight Samurai")
Well, let's see the letter.
At the Town Hall, Hank finds Emma, Helen, Mertyl and other seniors, knitting. At Helen's invitation, he joins their club, the "Knit Wits", over Emma's objections. Hank catches up with the ladies at the Leroy's as Emma's blabbing about Oscar. Helen and Mertyl leave right away and Emma fakes a cramp to get Hank to go. Helen and Mertyl arrive at Hank's house and while knitting, relate that they weren't trying to get away from him, but from Emma's constant nattering about Oscar. After Emma unexpectedly shows up, the ladies are grateful when Hank gets them to escape out the back door while he lets Emma in. ("Knit Wit of the Month")
Is there another way out?
At a funeral reception, Wanda teaches Oscar how to behave and stops him from grabbing food until Helen removes the plastic covering the sandwiches. She shows him how to mourn by staring at his shoes. At the Ruby, Wanda tells Helen that Oscar is crashing the funerals and is stealing food. At a funeral, Helen searches Oscar's pockets but he doesn't have any food stashed. He warns Wanda that Helen's onto them. Helen finds Wanda's pockets stuffed with sandwiches. Claiming Oscar put them there, Helen doesn't believe her as she thinks Oscar is mourning, seeing him staring at his shoes. ("Outside the Box")
I taught him that!
Karen replaces using Wanda's car as a ghost car with Helen's. ("Bed and Brake Fast") Helen helps prepare for Brent's 40th birthday party at the Ruby and is at the celebration. ("Final Countdown")
After Davis refuses to make perogies for any more eating contests, he's jealous when Helen's asked to make some for a match between Brent and Lacey. Davis enters Helen's house and finds her cooking the perogies for the eating contest. Speaking ominously, Helen's not frightened so Davis tells her she can park anywhere she wants if she doesn't provide the food. ("Full Load") At the Ruby, Helen gets Emma and Karen to volunteer at the Senior's Home but can't get Oscar to. ("Reader Pride")
Davis says I can park wherever I want.
At Corner Gas, in order to start a rumour, Wanda tells Helen that Karen scored low on her police IQ test. Helen doesn't believe her until Wanda says she heard it from Emma. At the Foo Mart, Wanda tells Helen that according to Karen, Emma was arrested for arson years ago. Later at the Foo Mart, Emma tells Helen they're not going to get Wanda back for starting rumours. Wanda sees the conversation and demands to know what was said, which scares Helen. ("Self-Serving") Asked by Brent if Hank is staying with her, Helen says she'd kill herself first. ("Good Tubbin'")
That doesn't sound like Emma.
Helen volunteers at a thrift shop where Lacey reluctantly donates clothes. After Lacey's annoyed that Wanda bought her clothes at the shop and is wearing them and giving them as gifts, Wanda denies it was on purpose. However, Wanda sought Helen's advice on which clothes Lacey donated. To show she's not poor, Wanda gives all the items she bought from the shop back to Helen. ("Shirt Disturber") At Corner Gas, Helen swears at Hank when he greets her with a double-kiss and gasps when Hank accidentally kisses Emma on the lips. ("Queasy Rider")
So, you're donating the bag?
At the Town Hall, Karen acts as judge for a jam contest and initially picks Mertyl's jam, before saying she's joking. Karen declares Emma the winner but the jam she picked is Helen's. Oscar tries to horn in on the photo but is denied by Helen. Later at the Ruby, Emma discovers that Helen used her recipe to win. Helen offers herself up to Karen for arrest but is told by Karen that cheating at a jam contest isn't an arrestable offence. ("Get the F Off My Lawn") Helen attends the party for Brent at the Ruby when everyone thinks he's going away on a national comedy tour. ("You've Been Great, Goodnight")