Season: Three — Episode: 11 Director: David Storey — Writer: Brent Butt & Andrew Carr — Aired: November 28, 2005 — Viewers (millions): N/A Summary: When Lacey learns that Brent is paranoid about hair loss, she promises to help, but her solution makes him smell weird. Wanda buys a lamp at an estate auction and sparks a heated standoff at Corner Gas with Emma. Oscar develops a hunger for Lacey's magic tricks and Hank shows off his vast inexperience at fixing appliances.
At the Ruby Cafe, Brent complains to Lacey about finding a hair in his soup. She points out it's his hair and showing him several more laying about, concludes he's going bald. After Hank arrives, Brent relates his dilemma which Hank tries to minimize. Lacey points fun at Brent, who leaves to serve a customer. Hank rebukes Lacey and insists that though Brent may not show it, inside he's experiencing pain, which Hank likens to a bad clown. At the home of Florence Bickleigh, who passed away, Wanda, Karen and Davis arrive for her estate auction. Davis looks forward to the rush of bidding while Karen is afraid that her smallest movement will be interpreted by the auctioneer as a bid.
He's like Painy the Clown.
At Corner Gas, Brent empties the milk cooler, due to it malfunctioning. Hank harangues Brent to allow him to fix it, which he refuses. Pointing out that numerous appliances and the "ding hose" are broken, Brent agrees that if Hank fixes the smaller items, he can then fix the cooler. At the auction, Darren puts an antique elephant lamp on the block which Wanda comments is tacky. Hank tells Brent he's been defending him when other people make fun of his increasing baldness. A customer enters Corner Gas asking to buy a comb which Brent takes as a jab at his condition. Wanda bids on the lamp, claiming she likes elephants, but is outbid by Davis, who is only participating for the thrill of bidding.
You just bid against yourself.
At the Ruby, Lacey serves Oscar a sandwich on the Ruby's new, larger plates. Complaining to Lacey and Emma that the sandwich looks smaller, Lacey puts a coffee cup beside the plate for comparison. However, Oscar thinks Lacey's bought smaller coffee cups. At Corner Gas, Wanda shows Brent and Hank the lamp, which she outbid Davis for. Indicating it's a valuable antique worth $1500, Hank finds it ugly while Brent thinks the lamp belongs to Emma. At the Police station, Davis thanks Karen for stopping him from bidding on the lamp but she couldn't prevent him from placing the winning bid on a stuffed fish. Brent tells Wanda that Emma lent Florence the lamp a decade ago. Emma enters the station and delighted to see the lamp, her mood sours when Wanda claims ownership. They glare at each other in a stand-off.
Let's see how this plays out.
Wanda hugs the lamp tight and challenges Emma to prove it belongs to her. Davis and Karen enter and comment that Wanda called the lamp "tacky" at the auction. Davis tries to unload the fish he won at the auction but Wanda shuts him down. At the Ruby, Lacey tries to demonstrate that the sandwich was an illusion by pouring the same amount of cola in a small and large glass. When she pours the cola from the large glass into a another small glass and it's the same amount of cola as in the first small glass, Oscar thinks she's performed a magic trick. Davis and Karen won't settle Emma and Wanda's argument and Wanda again refuses to buy Davis' fish. At the Ruby as Josh cooks, Lacey apologizes for making fun of Brent losing his hair and comments on a number of sexy, bald celebrities, including a cartoon one.
Is this a trick glass?
Davis tries to hang the fish up at the Police station but Karen won't lend him a hammer. Hank startles Wanda by wearing a welding mask while fixing one of Corner Gas' appliances. His innocent comment about the lamp gets Wanda defensive about keeping it from Emma. At the Ruby, Lacey offers to help make Brent's hair look its best. Oscar tells Brent that Lacey does magic and asking her to do one, she has him stare a a coffee cup while she pours coffee into it. Brent notices there's no ketchup on the lunch counter which Oscar thinks Lacey made disappear. At Corner Gas, Emma tells Wanda that she received the lamp from her grandmother and tells a childhood story involving the lamp. Wanda refuses to feel guilt but when Molly, a little girl, asks the cost of candy, Wanda tells her to take all she wants for free.
Didn't mean to scare ya.
Having let Lacey add product to his hair, a self-conscious Brent returns to the Ruby with Lacey. Though his hair looks no different, Mayor Fitzy comments on Brent's hairdo. In front of the Police station with his fish, Davis is overjoyed when Hank offers to take it off his hands for $20. However, when Hank explains he'll take it to the dump for $20, Davis grabs the fish back, leaving Hank to wonder when he'll get his money. At the Ruby, asking for another magic trick, Oscar begins to complain when Lacey claims to be too busy. She pulls a quarter from his ear and she discovers the tricks stop Oscar from grousing. At Corner Gas, Brent is annoyed when a customer sniffs at his hair, which smells like mango. Lacey tells Brent about pacifying Oscar with magic and asking if he knows any tricks, Brent can only complain about his hair smelling like fruit.
What is that, a fish?
Insisting his hair looks no different than it did before she put the product in, Hank arrives, having fixed Corner Gas' fan and wonders if Brent is wearing a toupee. At the Police station, Davis dumps the fish on Karen's desk. At Corner Gas, the fan Hank "fixed" draws air instead of blowing it and the ding hose bell sounds like a doorbell. Brent sarcastically says Hank can fix the cooling unit. Karen sells the fish to Oscar but once he takes it, he says it looked bigger when Karen when holding it. Emma arrives at Corner Gas and concedes the lamp to Wanda. However, Emma's grateful when Wanda gives her the lamp until Hank mentions that he rewired the lamp for modern bulbs. Having ruined its value, Emma and Wanda both reveal they knew it was an expensive lamp and discover each was trying to rip the other off. Breaking into smiles at the similarity in their characters, they then glare at Hank who quickly exits.
You're not gonna fight then?
At the Ruby, Brent believes the product in his hair will result in him not fitting in with the townsfolk anymore. Lacey tells Brent to stop overreacting until a farmer sniffs repeatedly at Brent's hair. Outside Corner Gas, Wanda fixes the bell on the ding hose while Hank helps. At the Ruby, as Oscar complains about the soup, Lacey performs a trick with a large hand flourish. Brent likes the trick but Oscar complains it's too elaborate and calls Brent "baldy." Initially trying to make Brent feel good by asking what a normal amount of hair is, Lacey then implies Brent's earlobes are abnormal which makes him self-conscious.
Is there a farmer sniffing my head?
Oscar refers to Canadian magician Doug Henning but calls him "Kurt."
"'Cause you and your nine Metallica t-shirts know a lot about style?"