S03E14-Lacey Connie.jpg

"Friend of a Friend"
◀️ Merry Gasmas Logo 01.jpg Block Party ▶️  Transcript Script icon.png

Season: Three — Episode: 14
Director: David Storey — Writer: Mark Farrell & Paul Mather — Aired: January 30, 2006 — Viewers (millions): N/A
Summary: Lacey's friend Connie comes to Dog River and is rude to everyone. Lacey is oblivious so Hank devises a plan to make it plain to her. Wanda and Brent try to keep a Corner Gas rewards card program from spiraling out of control and Davis thinks Karen would make a bad undercover cop.


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Main Cast


Should we tell someone if someone's friend's being rude to someone?
— Hank
At the Ruby Cafe, Lacey tells Brent that a friend from college will be visiting. Hank, Oscar, Emma and Wanda all overhear and think that Lacey is bragging about going to college. Lacey's friend, Connie, arrives at the Ruby where Lacey introduces her to Davis and Karen and then leaves to talk to Josh. Connie calls Davis hefty but when Lacey returns, she says goodbye cordially. Davis is left wondering if Connie insulted him. At Corner Gas, as the former owner of the station, Oscar nags Wanda for a discount on some milk. She gives him a scrap of paper which she proclaims is a discount card. Oscar leaves and doesn't pay for the milk while Wes, having overheard, asks Wanda for a card too.

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Connie, you made it.
At the Police station, while Karen looks on-line for a police acquaintance who is working undercover, Davis tells her that she doesn't have the skills for undercover work. In front of Corner Gas, Lacey introduces Connie to Hank and Brent. After Brent shakes Connie's hand and she learns he owns the station, she holds her hand up and says she needs to wash it. Brent asks Hank if he thought Connie was being rude. Inside Corner Gas, Wanda tells Brent that she started a customer rewards card. Assuring him that she'll handle it, she refuses to give Hank a card until Brent intercedes. Hank claims he'll cherish it forever and leaves but returns moments later, having lost the card. At the Hotel bar, Paul meets Connie who tells Lacey she's engaged and asks her to be maid of honour. Lacey discovers Connie is marrying a friend's ex-husband, who she may have stolen away.

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You were bragging about going to college.
Having learned from Oscar about the rewards card, Paul bribes Brent with a free drink to get one. Connie approaches the bar and leaves after insulting Paul and Hank. Lacey tries to get confirmation from Brent and Hank that Connie is great but they evade her question. Later at Corner Gas, Hank asks Emma and then Brent if they should tell Lacey that Connie is rude. Brent believes that Wanda would put Connie in her place and lies that Wanda is witty, not rude. Emma refuses to engage in the gossip about Connie but intimidates Brent into giving her a rewards card. Leaving the police station, Karen is angry that Davis doesn't think she could work undercover. This is made worse when she finds out Davis told Oscar. Figuring she deserves a better rewards card than Oscar, Emma forces Wanda into creating a higher level card.

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Can't you ask your own mother?
Outside the Post Office, Davis and Karen accost Brent about the rewards card. He creates a new level and tells them that Wanda will make it happen. At the Ruby, Hank pays Karen several compliments on her personality, which could be taken as insults, and that she'd make a good undercover agent. He tries to tempt Karen into secretly recording Connie being rude so he can make Lacey aware and she can show Davis she is good at working undercover. However, Karen isn't interested. At Corner Gas, Wes complains to Wanda that his card is the same level as Hank and Paul's, so Wanda creates a platinum card. She tells Brent to stop creating new levels but Emma arrives, demanding to know why Wes has a platinum card and she doesn't.

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I let you backdate your insurance...
At the Ruby, Oscar asks Connie to pass him the ketchup. When she won't and Oscar keeps asking, she claims Oscar is harassing her and insists that Davis arrest Oscar. When Davis refuses, Connie calls Oscar homeless and insults Davis scathingly. Outside, Connie blows by Emma who tries to politely introduce herself. Davis and Oscar try explaining to Lacey what happened with Connie, but she chalks up the incident to Oscar's reputation for bothering people. At Corner Gas, Emma tells Brent and Wanda that Connie is rude and says someone should tell Lacey. Wanda is eager to but fearing she'd really hurt Lacey's feelings, Brent gets Emma to. Lacey thinks that Emma is projecting Oscar's rudeness onto Connie until Emma makes it plain what she feels about Connie's behaviour.

S03E14-Connie Oscar.jpg
I just asked her for ketchup.
At the Police station, Davis gives Hank a recorder to tape Connie with. Still stinging from Connie's rebuke, Davis is reassured by Hank that he's not incompetent. On Main Street, Hank approaches Connie who implies he's a vagrant and tells him to take a bath. Hank leaves, satisfied he has proof on tape. At the Ruby, Hank plays the tape for Lacey but it just has Hank singing on it. Calling Davis incompetent, Hank tells Lacey that he tried to record Connie being rude and that Karen wanted to go undercover. Lacey thinks Karen is behind the ploy and critisizes her. Oscar hears about the new platinum card from Paul, Emma and a kid and complains to Wanda. Wanda tells him cards have been replaced with a points system.

S03E14-Hank wire Connie.jpg
Look, I don't have any spare change.
At the Ruby, Lacey gathers Brent, Emma, Davis and Hank in a booth and tells them that she's always known Connie is rude. Saying she stays friends with Connie out of sympathy, Lacey doesn't know Connie's in the booth behind her. Connie confronts Lacey which Brent comments is awkward. At Corner Gas, Brent learns about the points system from Paul. Wanda tells him that points are like cash, which Brent then can't hand out anymore. Outside the Ruby, as Connie ties into Lacey, she stills wants Lacey to be her maid of honour. Having not met her, Wanda approaches Connie and says she's heard about her rudeness. Sensing a fight brewing, Lacey tells Wanda that she doesn't need to confront Connie but Wanda brushes Lacey off with a barb about her pants. Connie agrees with Wanda and as they both insult Lacey, they find kinship. Lacey leaves in a huff and they both comment on her rudeness.

You knew she was rude?


  • Paul has a masters in history.
  • Jackass!: At the Ruby, after Connie complains to Davis that Oscar is harassing her, Davis doesn't know who Connie is referring to. Oscar tells Davis Connie's talking about him and calls Davis a jackass.


"The way you drift in and out of people's lives without leaving any permanent roots, you'd make a perfect undercover agent."
―Hank to Karen
"All I know is your friend's a bitch."


Corner Gas Season Three Episodes
Dress for SuccessKey to the FutureDog River ViceWill and BrentThe Littlest YarboMail FraudFun RunTrees a CrowdPicture PerfectSafety FirstHair LossRuby NewsdayMerry GasmasFriend of a FriendBlock PartyPhysical CreditTelescope TroubleBean ThereRoad Worthy

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