Fitzy Fitzgerald is the mayor of Dog River. He takes his job way too seriously and is worried that someone else is going to take it, even though no one wants it. His efforts to try and improve the town are usually opposed and result in mishaps. Fitzy always runs unopposed in every mayoral election. In a dream of Hank's, Emma ran against him and won. ("Gopher It")
Fitzy leads a group of citizens complaining that Corner Gas' men's bathroom is in worse shape than the women's. He threatens to pass a by-law and is worried Wanda will take his job. ("Grad '68") After Fitzy presides over a meeting at the Town Hall where Hank's idea to build a statue of something big to attract tourists is approved, a committee that includes his grandmother, Helen, meets at the Ruby Cafe to decide what to build. There's no good ideas until Helen, citing Dog River's farming heritage, suggests building a giant hoe. Brent and Lacey recognize the double entrendre with "ho" (prostitute). Later in private, Fitzy nearly cries when telling Brent that he couldn't explain the issue to his grandmother. At another town meeting, with Davis and Karen in attendance, Fitzy announces building the world's biggest hoe. ("World's Biggest Thing")
It's pretty serious.
At the town's 17th Annual Talent Show, Fitzy blows up a balloon and asks the audience to name an animal. When Oscar calls out "dog", Fitzy draws a dog face on the balloon. ("Cousin Carl") Fitzy gives Lacey bad news that she wasn't accepted into Dog River's Chamber of Commerce. Later, he tells everyone that a cell phone tower isn't going to be constructed as "some idiot" (Lacey) got an old grain elevator protected status, blocking purchase of the land the tower was supposed to go on. ("Cell Phone")
Lacey hypothesizes that the woman of Dog River find Brent attractive because the men in the town are so crass. Fitzy is seen with a crowd of men laughing at Hank burping. ("The Brent Effect") After it's revealed that Brent doesn't know much about the people in town and his attempts to show his knowledge results in inadvertent damage, Brent's friendly banter attempts at Corner Gas are met with hostility by Fitzy and another customer. ("Smell of Freedom") Seeing there's no trash around town as Oscar has picked it up, Fitzy fires Wade. Later after Emma dumps what Oscar's collected by the side of the road, Fitzy finds the trash and re-hires Wade. ("Lost and Found")
Can't find any damn garbage.
Hearing Brent is broke, Fitzy buys Brent lunch at the Ruby. Later at the Hotel, while watching Brent rub his eyes from watching his new big screen TV, but thinking he's crying, Davis, Hank and Fitzy sympathize with Brent. ("Poor Brent")
His empty, empty house.
In his office, Fitzy shows Davis and Karen a study that traffic has increased in Dog River. He tells them he plans to replace the town's four-way stop with a traffic light and orders them to crack down on jaywalking. At the Ruby, as Fitzy eats a Ruby Club, Hank and Oscar demand that the jaywalking enforcement be dropped and Wes tells him no one wants the traffic light. Brent rationally questions Fitzy on the traffic increase and everyone learns the numbers in the study came from an electronic traffic counter. Not revealing he's responsible for inflating the counter's numbers, Hank challenges Fitzy that the counter may be wrong. Fitzy promises to hold off installing the light and after getting a jaywalking ticket from Karen, promises to wipe them out. ("Hero Sandwich")
After bingo caller Fred falls at the Town Hall and breaks his hip, Fitzy arrives to see Fred wheeled out by paramedics and asks for another bingo caller, believing Fred is too injured to ever return. He indicates he can't be the bingo caller, due to an important meeting, which is an exercise class. Emma forces Wanda to be the bingo caller. After a scheme of Emma's results in Wanda not arriving at bingo, Fitzy grabs Hank, who's loitering outside the Town Hall, to call the bingo numbers. Later, Wanda returns and calling the numbers, the bingo hall is packed and an enthused Fitzy anticipating raising money for charity. Just then, Fred hobbles into the hall on crutches. Later, Fred calls the bingo numbers to a nearly empty hall. ("Bingo Night")
The place is packed.
After Oscar's team wins Dog River's annual bonspiel, at the presentation ceremony, Karen arrives in the nick of time with a replica Clavet Cup, having lost the one Davis gave her to guard. Fitzy presents the cup to Oscar's team but he sees it's a replica and Karen is rebuked until Lacey says she uses the Clavet Cup Karen left at the Ruby to hold bacon grease. Everyone turns on Lacey who says to have a heart. ("Hurry Hard")
The Clavet Cup.
After an American, Bill, accidentally arrives in Dog River, Fitzy asks Hank to show Bill around and be the town's good will ambassador. Outside the Liquor store, Davis continues to speak ill of the store's new ATM which Fitzy agrees with but Davis doesn't hear. When Fitzy discovers Hank is bothering Bill, he gets Brent to agree to be ambassador and host Bill. He then has Davis strand Hank at Hank's house. Fitzy and Davis maintain a vigil outside the Liquor store when Brent wildly drives up. Claiming he has diplomatic immunity from tickets, which Fitzy confirms, Brent tells them that Hank is bothering Bill again. Davis again strands Hank at his house.
My gut tells me this ATM is bad news.
Fitzy arrives at the Ruby and schemes with Brent and Lacey how to break up the ATM crowd. After Oscar suggests scaring the ATM crowd by wearing masks, Brent says they should just go talk to them. However, Brent plan doesn't work and he, Fitzy, Lacey, Oscar and Bill (who tried to help them) all end up stranded at Hank's house. Asked if he'll ever return to Dog River, Bill deadpans only if he wants to be part of a bizarre sociological experiment. ("An American in Saskatchewan")
They can't do this to me. I'm the Mayor.
At the Leroy's, Fitzy is more interested in Emma's Nanaimo bars than picking someone to write a plaque that outlines Dog River's history. To Lacey's delight, he picks her but after she leaves, Emma thanks Fitzy for giving the task to Lacey. After Lacey's learns the horrifying secret behind how Dog River got its name, Fitzy unveils the plaque in which Lacey used a fabricated explanation provided by Karen. ("Rock On!")
They had balloons.
At the side of the Foo Mart, Fitzy shows Karen and Davis graffiti and demands action. Davis panders to Fitzy but as Karen points out the rarity of crime, she responds that she's willing to get closer to the community as long it's not a bike patrol. Fitzy thinks this is a great idea and credits Davis. While Lacey has a group of people outside the Ruby to witness the Snowbirds do a fly-by, Fitzy arrives and tells everyone Hank's corn stand is on fire. Everyone leaves and only Lacey sees the Snowbirds. Having been on community bike patrol, Davis and Karen arrive late at the fire, resulting in Fitzy telling them to go back to patrolling in the police cruiser. ("Air Show")
At the Police station, Fitzy and Emma introduce the town's new firefighters, David and Carol, to Davis and Karen. Later, after Oscar sets fire to a pile of leaves at the Leroy's but David and Carol aren't on the scene, due to chasing a dog, Fitzy announces the town's going back to a volunteer fire department and asks Davis to supervise it. ("The Littlest Yarbo") Fitzy meets Oscar at the finish line of the Dog River 10km Fun Run race and calls him courageous for finishing it. ("Fun Run") At the Ruby, Fitzy asks Emma and Mertyl to led a safety committee which Mertyl sluffs off on Emma.
You're in shock.
After Hank takes credit for the work on the Ruby's accounting books, Fitzy sees them and hires Hank to work for the town, whose books are being audited. At the Mayor's office, Fitzy encourages Hank who is stressed and bingeing on grape candy. Wanda arrives and he secretly gives her the town's books to do. Wanda muddles the town's books with narrative on a kid's bike safety colouring book she's working on for Karen. The auditors tell Hank and Fitzy that the town's books started out fine but then became gibberish that involved a bicycle. Claiming he hired Hank as a lark, Fitzy fires him. ("Safety First") After Lacey puts hair products on Brent, in front of the Ruby, Fitzy calls Brent "Curly" and says he has a nice coif. ("Hair Loss")
At the Police station, Davis tells Karen that Mayor Fitzy indicated there'll be no increase in the police budget. Oscar tells Fitzy the police are working to rule and that the Ruby is offering delivery. Fitzy's first action is to call the Ruby and ask for lunch to be sent over. Fitzy confronts Davis and Karen and gives them a copy of the Police Manual. It's thick and has a lot of assignments they'd have to follow if they're working to rule. At the Police station, Fitzy tells Davis and Karen he might as well eat at the Ruby if Lacey is delivering. He learns that they're not working to rule anymore. ("Dog River Dave") Fitzy is interested in the conversation about fondue at the Ruby and later, is at a fondue party at Karen's. ("Just Brent and His Shadow")
Well, here's the book.
After Davis is locked up in jail for a fundraiser and Hank won't leave him alone, a group of townsfolk, including Mertyl, crowd around the police cruiser. Fitzy donates $100 and Jane gives all the money from her kid's piggy banks to get Davis out. However, Hank arrives and announces Davis has been out for hours, causing everyone to glare at Karen. With Davis and the crowd, Fitzy discovers Karen raised over $2000. Lying she intended to give the extra money to the charity Wanda mentioned, Karen suggests locking Davis up again. ("Jail House") At Corner Gas, Fitzy and a local accidentally get involved in one of Wanda's psychology experiments and yell out the right answer to a math question. ("I, Witness")
Davis is out?
Behind the Ruby, Lacey shows Fitzy a pile of garbage bags that were supposed to have been collected. Fitzy relates that the town's garbage truck is broken so Hank offers to pick-up the garbage. Fitzy talks Hank down to doing it for $25. Davis arrives at the Ruby, saying he played a practical joke on Fitzy, who enters yelling that someone slashed his car tires. Fitzy complains to Brent about the red wiper fluid and lack of dill pickle chips which he says the people of Dog River like. At the Ruby, a mob including Fitzy, Oscar and Helen plead with Lacey to convince Brent to get rid of the red wiper fluid. At the Leroy's, Emma complains to Fitzy that she wants Hank to stop going through their garbage.
Come on in. I'll give you some food.
Fitzy says he can't do anything until the garbage truck is fixed so Emma demands he get it done. Fitzy sarcastically accuses Emma of being rich and not understanding the town doesn't have the money. At the Hotel bar, everyone, including Fitzy, laughs at Karen and, Davis reveals that all the gags he's pulled, with Lacey, Fitzy's tires (which weren't slashed) and Phil was to trick Karen and show her that he can pull off an elaborate practical joke. Collecting garbage behind the Ruby, Hank tells Lacey that her garbage at home is more interesting. Fitzy arrives and fires Hank but doesn't tell him that Emma and Oscar paid to have the garbage truck fixed, to stop Hank's snooping. ("Outside Joke")
Okay, maybe not elaborate.
At the Ruby, Fitzy tells Davis and Karen that he's sending them both to a first aid course in Regina. In order to make some money, Oscar applies to take the town's census but has competition in Hank, who has done the job before. Fitzy gives them an aptitude test which they both do equally poor at. Thinking he needs to provide a urine sample, Oscar fills Fitzy's coffee cup and Fitzy decides to hire them both. Hank and Oscar return to Fitzy's office, where he fires them as they've only counted three and half people. Later, an angry Oscar imagines a dinner in which Fitzy is attacked by a bear. At the Dog River town limit, a crowd has gathered to watch Fitzy unveil the sign detailing the town's population. However, Oscar interrupts and says he has the "people's census" and estimates there's 500 living there. Fitzy is incredulous, made worse when Wes and Jane agree with Oscar and Wes calls Oscar a hero. ("Census Sensibility")
Dog River's population is exactly...
At the Ruby, after Fitzy hears he can get a potato bowl for $50, he buys one. Later, in front of the Foo Mart, he shows the bowl to a scowling Emma and Wanda. ("Potato Bowl") At the Foo Mart, Oscar arrests Fitzy for taking two bananas out of bunch. Later at the Police station, Fitzy protests that a bunch is too much for him. Oscar recommends making muffins with the extra bananas but when Fitzy wants to add raisins to them, Oscar orders that Fitzy be booked. ("Seeing Things") With Emma having taken over for Lacey at the Ruby, she makes Fitzy eat meatloaf, even though he wants a cheeseburger. ("Happy Campers")
During the mayoral election, Fitzy puts up posters all over town challenging the townsfolk to propose ideas to increase tourism. Running unopposed, Davis enthusiastically supports Fitzy and is suspicious of Karen's cynicism. In Fitzy's office, Hank arrives and proposes people paint prairie dogs to put all over town. Fitzy likes Hank's idea and saying he'll order big gophers, Hank insists on small prairie dogs. Davis has to point out that Fitzy should buy statues and not live animals. At the Ruby, Oscar bothers Fitzy with an idea to build a casino. Fitzy tells Oscar to shut up, angering Emma, and leaves for a press conference. At the conference, Fitzy announces Hank's idea which results in arguments from Wes and Helen whether the statues should be gophers or prairie dogs, and big or small.
He's a tiger, a scorpion, a thing with horns.
To please everyone, Fitzy says he's ordered big and small statues of both animals. Emma surprises everyone by entering the mayoral race on the platform of building a casino. In front of the post office, Davis falsely accuses Emma, who's in her car, of speeding. Karen sees Fitzy lurking across the street, apologizes to Emma and lets her go. After Emma wins the election, in front of the Police station, Karen teases Davis for supporting Fitzy. Davis recalls Fitzy's concession speech, in which he maligned the townspeople and then couldn't leave as his car wouldn't start. However, the events were a dream of Hank's and Fitzy is still the mayor. ("Gopher It")
Having smelled men's aftershave on Emma but believing his smell is off, at the Ruby, Brent smells the food. Finding it smells good, he thinks it must be bad. Fitzy asks if the food is off and no amount of convincing from Lacey can change her patron's minds that it's bad. ("Wash Me") Having received a samurai sword from Dog River's twin town in Japan, Emma calls Fitzy, but doesn't say what they sent. Fitzy recalls that the town's previous twin, Henkenvyorken, Denmark ended the relationship after Hank sent a package containing gas, fertilizer and a battery, which they thought was a bomb. Emma invites the twinning committee consisting of Fitzy, Karen and Helen over to see the gift. After Oscar takes the sword, the committee arrives at the Leroy's where Emma lies that the twin town only sent a letter, which she burnt, indicating a gift they would send.
Well, let's see the letter.
The committee walks past Davis' house where Oscar and then Davis are using the sword to chop at the branch. After the sword is used by several people around town and is badly damaged, at the Hotel bar, Emma meets with twinning committee and shows them the sword. They think Emma is proposing to send it as Dog River's gift since many people around town used it and it looks Japanese. Emma doesn't dissuade them and accepts their compliments. At the Ruby Cafe, Fitzy introduces Al Goar, who heads up the local environmental committee to Brent and Lacey. He presents Brent with a plaque for the energy reductions achieved by Corner Gas. He critisizes Lacey for having the AC on in the Ruby, not knowing that Brent turned it on and that Lacey was responsible for implementing the environmentally-friendly changes at Corner Gas. ("The Eight Samurai")
You might want to turn your AC down.
At the Leroy's, Oscar evades doing chores Emma wants done by volunteering to drive the school bus. Oscar was chosen because Fitzy gave a bus driver two lists, those qualified and not qualified to drive the bus, which the driver mixed up. ("Buzz Driver")
Don't mix these up.
At the Ruby, Lacey's added new items to the menu and uses "delicious" and "fabulous" to describe them. She's disappointed when Davis and Fitzy aren't interested in ordering them. Later, after Lacey learns using "classic" sells products, the classic goat cheese omelette is a hit with Davis, Fitzy and Hank but Lacey nearly messes up the order by not saying "classic" when placing it. ("Classical Gas") After Oscar bullies his way into writing the Senior's Beat in the Howler, Fitzy congratulates him on the cat poop article which Karen actually wrote. Later, Fitzy maligns the latest Senior's Beat article to Oscar. Discovering Davis wrote it, Fitzy threatens to fire Oscar unless he writes the column himself. ("Knit Wit of the Month")
Oh, goat and cheese in the same omelette?
At the Ruby, Fitzy gives Davis a button for his campaign to bring a call centre to Dog River and asks for his support. Hank doesn't like call centres, having had a bad experience with one. Emma threatens Fitzy into giving her a job bringing the call centre to Dog River. At the Police station, Emma's anger with Davis and Hank is made worse when Fitzy announces he's cancelling plans to bring the centre. Citing that Davis and Hank's constant calls opened his eyes to the dangers of a centre, he recommended it go to Wullerton. ("Outside the Box")
Aren't you gonna wear it?
At the Hotel bar, Lacey fakes being drunk to get Wanda to show she's her friend and drive her home. Wanda knows Lacey's been drinking apple juice but Fitzy went drink-for-drink with Lacey and is drunk. Wanda offers to drive him home. ("No Time Like the Presents") At Fitzy's office, Oscar complains he wants a sidewalk in front of his house. Fitzy dissuades him until Oscar relates that a car nearly hit him and he got the plate number. Fitzy being the driver, he tells Oscar he'll get his sidewalk right away. At the Leroy's as the sidewalk's being poured, Oscar tells Fitzy he's worried about Wanda defacing it. Eventually, Wanda writes her name in the cement which Karen changes to "Wanda loves Davis." Wanda demands Fitzy take out the sidewalk which he refuses to do. ("Coming Distractions")
Wanda, you're my best friend.
Davis replaces using Brent's car as a ghost car with the "Fitzymobile." ("Bed and Brake Fast") As everyone prepares for Brent's 40th birthday, at the Ruby, Fitzy is called by Davis. Intent on stopping Wanda's fireworks, Fitzy forbids Davis to take any action but Davis ignores him and accidentally calls the house of Shirley Douglas. Later, Fitzy sees the cakes that Emma and Lacey have made for Brent and says one's a joke cake. Emma and Lacey argue about whose cake Fitzy was referring to. Fitzy's at the fireworks where Brent is toasted and inside the Ruby as Brent tries out the cakes. ("Final Countdown")
Fitzy presides over an eating contest at the Ruby that Lacey wins. He presents her with a pig nose that she refuses to wear. He later does the same thing in a contest between Brent and Lacey and reports it took Brent 4.6 seconds to eat a bowl of perogies. ("Full Load") After Karen has a mishap with the police cruiser, she employs Hank as her driver. To respond to a call, she runs to the Ruby and has to lie to Fitzy as to the reason she's there to get Hank. ("Bend It Like Brent") After coffee runs out on the Ruby's buffet, Fitzy asks Lacey for some more. She gives him instructions to make it himself. Later, Fitzy teases Wanda with a rumour, which Wanda started, that she's a plagiarist and that her son Tanner, is Hank's love child. ("Self-Serving")
Start cramming your perogie holes.
At the Town Hall, Fitzy holds a charity draw for a six month supply of meat. He lends Hank his snowmobile suit for a gag on Brent and attends the BBQ at the Leroy's. Hank returns the suit to Fitzy at his house and he finds it full of dough. ("Meat Wave") As Karen leaves the Ruby without paying for a muffin, Fitzy jokes Karen is a muffin stealer which he then tells Emma and Oscar while Karen protests it was a mistake. After Wanda's breaks into Hank's email, Fitzy gets an email from Hank that he's a moron. Fitzy tells Emma and Oscar that Brent made a lasagna for them, though Emma actually did. Later, he and Oscar invite themselves to Brent's for dinner and are left to fend for themselves and split a pizza pocket Brent microwaved for his dinner. ("All That and a Bag of Chips")
It's no big deal.
At the Police station, Fitzy shows Davis and Karen the costume of "Safety Pete" to promote Safety Week in Dog River. Davis insists on being the one to wear it which Karen is only too glad to concede. With Davis away, Fitzy grabs a reluctant Karen to do a Safety Pete show at the school. Later, Davis feels inadequate after learning that Karen did acrobatics as Safety Pete, which Fitzy lauds. Davis performs as Safety Pete in front of the Foo Mart but unable to do flips, he's booed by the crowd. To Davis' disappointment, Fitzy tells him that Karen will don the costume from now on. Fitzy catches a jealous Davis practising cartwheels and tells him that Karen has another show to do. The next day, Fitzy and a crowd see Davis, performing as Safety Pete, crash into a pummel horse, hurt his leg and swear copiously. ("Good Tubbin'")
Are you sure you won't do this?
At the Corner Gas pumps, Fitzy asks Wanda to make a mixed CD for him. Exaggerating the effort it will take, later, Wanda makes the CD using shuffle. At Corner Gas, Davis is talking to Wanda as Fitzy arrives, angry that all the songs on his CD are about idiots. She confesses she made both his and Davis' CDs using shuffle. Davis scolds Wanda for breaking another unwritten rule of making mixed CDs and agrees to make one for Fitzy. ("Reader Pride")
I thought Karen was the smut reader.
After Karen gets her Officer Second Class certificate, Lacey proposes getting a group gift for her. Josh and Fitzy both refuse, given Lacey's bad reputation for choosing gifts. Later, Josh and Fitzy get Karen a novelty police badge as their gift. ("Shirt Disturber") Due to a complaint from Karen, Fitzy sends Davis to sensitivity training, which he belittles. Later at Corner Gas, he makes fun of Wanda impersonating Emma to keep a prize. ("Super Sensitive")
Fitzy presides over a town meeting where Emma proposes entering the town in a contest to not watch TV for a week. ("TV Free Dog River") Outside the Ruby, Fitzy is leery of Emma, having been warned by Hank that she likes greeting people with kissing on the lips. ("Queasy Rider") Lacey runs into Fitzy in front of the Foo Mart and learns he's been shunning the Ruby because of a list Brent keeps at Corner Gas which pans nearly everything on the menu. ("R2 Bee Too") Fitzy's at the Ruby as Davis announces he's shutting it down for sanitary reasons. ("Happy Career Day to You")
Those in favour of no TV for a week and sticking it to Wullerton, spit.
At the Police station, Fitzy asks Karen to judge a jam contest. Begging off being the judge himself, he lies that he bit his tongue when he really stuck it in a fan on a bet with Hank. Karen's tired of all the contests in town but Fitzy assures her it'll be easy, as Emma's won for 15 years in a row. ("Get the F Off My Lawn") Fitzy attends the party for Brent at the Ruby when everyone thinks he's going away on a national comedy tour. ("You've Been Great, Goodnight")