S03E03-At bar

"Dog River Vice"
◀️ Key to the Future Logo 01 Will and Brent ▶️  Transcript Script icon

Season: Three — Episode: 3
Director: Robert de Lint — Writer: Brent Butt & Paul Mather — Aired: October 3, 2005 — Viewers (millions): N/A
Summary: Brent gives up drinking coffee in a competition with Emma who gives up knitting. Davis and Karen start a ride-along program that becomes a little too popular and Hank is at the mercy of his new electronic organizer.


Logo 01 Episode Cast
Main Cast


Quittin' coffee is hard. Quittin' knittin' is easy, and fun to say, quittin' knittin', quittin' knittin', quittin' knittin'.
— Brent
At the Ruby Cafe, as Lacey comments on how tired Brent looks, Emma blames it on the amount of coffee Brent drinks. In the police cruiser outside of Dog River, Karen complains to Davis that nothing ever happens in the town and she thought becoming a police officer would earn her respect. At Corner Gas with Wanda as a witness, Brent and Emma agree on a contest to see who can go the longest without indulging in their vice. Brent gives up drinking coffee while Emma won't knit. At the Ruby as Helen drinks coffee, Lacey gives Hank an electronic organizer she received as a gift. At the Police station, Davis proposes they establish a ridealong program to address Karen feeling unappreciated. She's wary given Davis' experience dressed as a dog at the town's elementary school.

S03E03-Davis McWoof
I'm Constable McWoof!
At the Leroy's while watching TV, Oscar delights in Emma fidgeting now that she can't knit. He complains about watching Ben Mulroney on TV and proposes they go out. At Corner Gas, Hank shows Wanda that his whole day of hanging out and idling is planned out on the organizer. At the bulletin board beside the Foo Mart, Davis and Karen discover Hank is the only person to sign up for the ridealong. At the Ruby as Josh cooks, Brent tries to buy two Cokes from Lacey but having heard about the contest, she serves him milk. Brent then daydreams that he has an alarm clock in his bedroom. At the ridealong, Hank calls shotgun, relegating Karen to the back seat and his organizer interrupts with a bathroom break reminder. The next morning at Corner Gas, Wanda teases Brent for being late for work.

S03E03-Ben Mulroney
No talent.
Outside of town, a bored Karen watches as Davis lets Hank wear his gun belt while Davis plays with Hank's organizer. At the Ruby, a tired Brent is forgetful while an energized Oscar and Emma relate that they went Ukrainian dancing the night before. Emma orders coffee to tempt Brent while Oscar shows off some Ukrainian he's picked up, to Emma's annoyance. Lacey leaves for the Foo Mart but once done shopping, her car won't start. Having heard about Lacey's problem, the police and Hank ride to the rescue. At Corner Gas, Brent tells Wanda that he's discouraged that Emma is dealing well with quitting knitting and he takes the day off. Davis acts as if Lacey's dilemma is a serious police situation and warns Hank. Once there, Hank struggles to get Davis' belt off so Karen drives Lacey back to the Ruby in the cruiser, throwing off Hank's schedule.

S03E03-Davis Hank belt
Nothing to see here.
At the Dog River Hotel bar, Brent copes with caffeine withdrawal by drinking rye. Wanda uses the ridealong to get a ride to the bar and bribes Davis for a ride back home. Brent tells Hank about the competition with his Mom and hopes she's having a hard time not knitting. However, Emma and Oscar are seemingly having fun Ukrainian dancing. Hank tells Wanda that Brent will win but turns to find Brent asleep on the bar. Having bought an alarm clock, Brent smashes it when it rings. Proud of himself for arriving early for work, Wanda laughs at him for coming into the station on his day off. Hank uses his organizer to plan out Davis' day, leaving Karen feeling left out. Brian asks Davis for a ride to the Liquor store but Davis points out Hank is already on the ridealong. Davis and Hank drive away in the cruiser, leaving Karen behind.

S03E03-Oscar Emma dance
She must be goin' through hell.
At the Leroy's, Oscar makes Ukrainian Easter eggs and comments that it's better than watching Ben Mulroney on TV. Mulroney is seen rescuing a stricken man on the sidewalk. Emma asks Oscar if they can do something not Ukrainian but he proposes making a Ukrainian dish. At the Ruby, an exhausted Brent is desperate for caffeine but all Lacey will give him is more milk. At the Hotel bar, Karen drinks even though she's on duty. Feeling disrespected for being left behind, Paul tells Karen that he sorta respects her for getting paid to do nothing. At the Ruby, Wanda and Lacey watch Brent sleep on the counter. Hank asks Lacey for the charger for the organizer, as it's almost dead, but she threw it out. While making plans to backup the organizer's contents, its alarm goes off and Brent smashes it, thinking it's his alarm clock.

S03E03-Karen drinks
Sort of respect is close to respect.
Later at the Hotel bar, Brent watches Emma talking with Oscar and thinks he's beaten. Oscar brattles on about the Ukraine, causing Emma to excuse herself and tell Brent that he's won. Oscar asks her what's going on and she expresses how sick she is with his fascination with all things Ukrainian. Victorious, Brent orders two coffees from Paul. Karen arrives at the bar but now off-duty, refuses Paul's offer of a beer. Asking Davis if he missed anything earlier, he rues that Hank's busted organizer resulted in all his work appointments being lost. Karen says they'll have to find a new way to reach out to the community. Hank offers to help and later, visits the school dressed as a dog and scares the children as Davis did.

S03E03-Hank McWoof
Stay in school!


  • Oscar speaks Ukrainian several times, asking Emma if she'd like to make holubsti (cabbage rolls) and says "Ya ne znayu" (I don't know).
  • Jackass!: After Oscar speaks some Ukrainian which Brent thinks it Hawaiian, Oscar calls him a jackass.


"Sex, drugs, coffee. Let Brent have at least one of those."
―Lacey to Emma
"Nothing is what the town expects from us and that's exactly what we deliver."


Corner Gas Season Three Episodes
Dress for SuccessKey to the FutureDog River ViceWill and BrentThe Littlest YarboMail FraudFun RunTrees a CrowdPicture PerfectSafety FirstHair LossRuby NewsdayMerry GasmasFriend of a FriendBlock PartyPhysical CreditTelescope TroubleBean ThereRoad Worthy


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