Season: Two — Episode: 14 Director: Jeff Beesley — Writer: Mark Farrell & Paul Mather — Aired: February 14, 2005 — Viewers (millions): N/A Summary: Lacey gets the job of convincing a doctor to set up shop in town but the doctor finds Dog River overwhelming. With Hank needing a place to crash, he goes through a series of hosts. A hundred dollar bill provides Brent with many freebies when no one can make change for it.
It's obvious the whole town has conspired to convince me not to live here. The weird sex capades of Brent and his friends, people tossing their kids out, and the constant smothering by this woman who dresses all slutty.
At Corner Gas, Brent is reluctant to let Hank stay at his house while insulation is replaced at Hank's. Emma tries to guilt Brent into helping Hank but he ends up at the Leroy's where Oscar tries to boss Hank around but is overruled by Emma. At Corner Gas, Brent inspects a $100 bill, believing it to be counterfeit and is given details of the prime minister on the bill, Sir Robert Borden, by Wanda. At the Ruby Cafe as Josh cooks, Lacey is asked by Karen, Davis and Emma to show a new doctor around town with the hope he'll set up shop in Dog River over other towns in the area. The current doctor, Conway, is seen complaining to Frank of chest pains and blindness. They lie that she was first choice to host the doctor as many of the towns folk including Wes and Paul were asked before her.
Is this guy supposed to have a moustache?
Later at the Ruby, as Brent continues to fiddle with the $100 bill, Wanda jokes that real ones smell like pine. He tries to pay for his coffee with the bill but not wanting to make change, Lacey lets him owe her for the coffee. At the Leroy's, Hank is eager to help Emma with her gardening. On Main Street, as Davis gives Brent a parking ticket, Brent tries to pay for it with the bill. Davis can't make change so tears up the ticket. Brent kisses the bill and mistakes "Borden" for "Gordon." Hank does a fantastic job on Emma's garden so she suggests he help Oscar in his workshop. At the Ruby, Lacey tells Davis and Karen she plans to wear a revealing blouse and flirt with the doctor to get him to stay.
Just remember, my room, my rules.
At Corner Gas, Brent tells Wanda all the items he's gotten for free as no one wants to break his $100 bill. Lacey models her new blouse for Brent but he can't understand Wanda's silent cues to describe it. Hank finishes Oscar's project to build a cabinet. He impresses Emma but she and Oscar realize that if Hank continues to stay with them, they'll be spending more time together. The Leroys dump Hank at Corner Gas and tell Brent he can't stay with them anymore. Lacey meets the doctor, Chris Garner, at the bus stop and is surprised she's a woman. Brent allows Hank to stay at his place. Hank tries to borrow $10 which Brent avoids by offering the $100 bill, which Hank won't accept as it doesn't smell like pine.
I was going for flirty.
Arriving at Corner Gas, Chris is overwhelmed by the size of Dog River as she's currently based in a smaller town. She comments on Lacey's blouse and wonders if the town has prostitution. Wanda sees Brent get free Girl Guide cookies from Molly using the $100 bill and maligns him for kissing the bill and referring to "Borden" as "Gordon." At the Ruby, Lacey tells Chris how she took over the business from her Aunt Ruby while Chris relates she became a doctor after her father died and her brother nearly did. At Corner Gas, Karen tells Brent and Hank that the doctor is a woman which confuses Hank. Karen tells a riddle in which the answer involves a female doctor which both Brent and Hank don't get.
Our new doctor's a transvestite?
Emma meets Chris and drily relating that she kicked Hank out and he might be dead, Chris takes the statement seriously until Lacey tells her it's a joke. Brent takes Hank to his house but after a few minutes, Brent leaves to stay with his parents. At the Ruby, Karen learns where Hank and Brent are both staying. Hank asks Karen for another riddle so she tells one involving a plane crash, asks where the survivors should be buried which Hank doesn't understand. At the Leroy's, Oscar demands Brent pay for some groceries but when he offers the $100 bill, Oscar thinks it's a fake. Hank still can't get the riddle and joined by Davis, he poses a new riddle asking which side of a roof an egg laid by a rooster would roll down. Hank guesses the egg wouldn't roll anywhere due to the roof being flat or the egg being square.
This has taken up my whole afternoon.
After listening to Oscar complain that all doctors are quacks whose drugs are mainly sugar pills, Brent leaves to move back home. At the Dog River Hotel, an excited Lacey announces that she thinks Chris is going to stay. However, Davis, Emma and Karen aren't impressed with Chris, who they think is a hick, and ask Lacey to get rid of her. Returning home, Brent finds Hank trying to solve Davis' riddle with a live rooster on top of a small house. At Corner Gas, Brent tells Wanda he kicked Hank out. Chris and Lacey enter and overhear Brent saying he loves "Gordon" while Wanda says she wishes Brent would stop kissing him. Introducing Brent to Chris, Lacey tries to show how accommodating the towns people are by mentioning Brent is hosting a friend. Chris thinks the friend is "Gordon", that Brent is gay and when Brent mentions he kicked the friend out for bringing animals "into it", Chris is shocked and leaves.
I had to kick him out.
With no where else to stay, Davis puts Hank up in the jail at the Police station and locks Hank in. Entering the Ruby and still alarmed at Brent, Chris hears that Oscar threw his son out of the house (not knowing it's Brent) over an argument about drugs, that Hank is in jail and was "with" Brent and, that Davis started the "animal thing" which Karen admits she was in on with Hank. Mortified, Chris excuses herself. That evening at the Hotel bar, Brent tries to clear up the misunderstandings with Chris and offers to pay for a round of drinks with the $100 bill. Chris takes this that it's expensive to live in Dog River. With no change for the $100, Paul offers to let Brent pay later but Chris makes change for the bill. This results in Paul and Lacey taking all the money to pay for the drinks, meals at the Ruby and the Girl Guide cookies.
My house, my rules.
Davis sits closely beside Brent who casually puts his arm on top of Davis' chair. Chris has an outburst in which she accuses the town of conspiring to not have her set up practice in Dog River by having "slutty" Lacey constantly with her and repelling her with what Chris perceives are the sexual antics of Brent and his friends. Chris leaves and Davis compliments Lacey on fulfilling his, Emma and Karen's request to get rid of Chris. At the bus stop, Lacey brings Hank to meet Chris and try and clear up the confusion. Hank somewhat blames Chris for the misunderstanding because she's a woman doctor, and as he vaguely relates the story of a father dying and a son being hospitalized (Karen's first riddle), Chris takes this as Hank making light of her family's tragedy. Bursting into tears, Chris drags her luggage down the road. Hank wonders if he should go flirt with her.
If you didn't want me to live here, you shoulda just said so.
Wanda's sarcastic comment "Nice save Cheevers" to Brent refers to long-time Boston Bruins goalie Gerry Cheevers.
Brent mentions his Linda Ronstadt poster is still in his room as he jokes with Emma that he's moving back home. Years later, Hank greets the poster when Emma turns Brent's bedroom into a sewing room. ("Kid Stuff")
First appearance of the Police station jail cell. When Hank is in jail, Davis is seen reading Cosmo, which Brent revealed he buys every month. ("Bingo Night")
Since all medical schools are in large cities, how is it that Dr. Garner is overwhelmed by the size of Dog River?