Season: Five — Episode: 1 Director: David Storey — Writer: Mark Farrell — Aired: September 24, 2007 — Viewers (millions): N/A Summary: When Oscar complains that Dog River does not have enough local programming, ideas abound for the next great cable show and Brent is selected to choose which idea will be produced. Lacey, Emma and Wanda encounter some creative differences in their show planning, while Hank becomes the subject of Karen and Davis' new cop program.
So I just listen to their yap, yap, yap and then let 'em do their dopey shows?
At Corner Gas, Hank, Brent, Wanda and Oscar discuss two classic Canadian TV shows, one of which Oscar maligns. At the Ruby Cafe, Hank sees a cable van pull up outside and is worried it's in Dog River to disconnect his cable. At the Corner Gas pumps, Brent talks to the cable guy who explains that because of a complaint, he's there to produce a local show. The complaint came from Oscar who constantly calls into a pet show and says it's stupid. The cable guy hopes to get a warm reception, but his van is egged. From inside the Ruby, Hank sneers at the van while Lacey asks when he going to pay for the eggs he took. Davis and Karen arrive at Corner Gas, responding to the egging. The cable guy asks for the vandal to be caught but once the police learn about the show, at the Police station, Davis pitches a crime stopper show to Karen. He wants to be the host, which Karen is fine with, but Davis doesn't think she is.
This the van that was egged?
At the Ruby, Emma, Lacey and Wanda discuss what kind of show to make. Lacey mentions that when she was young, she loved to watch a program that only showed a burning log, which she found soothing. Emma constantly pitches a knitting show but the ladies eventually agree on a talk show starring the three of them. They don't think it'll be a problem to use the same show name as a popular US talk show but an American lawyer has been tipped off to their plans and looks for Saskatchewan in vain. At Corner Gas, Hank confesses he egged the van to Brent and feels guilty. The ladies pitch their idea to the cable guy who doesn't like them copying the US show's name. He informs them he doesn't decide which show gets picked, Oscar does, since he complained.
We will sue them. I just can't find the place.
The ladies and the police both pitch their shows to Oscar, who insists on crazy inclusions, such as an ostrich. Emma gets Oscar to quit his role by tricking him that the cable company is making him do all the work. The cable guy then convinces Brent to decide what'll get produced. He agrees but is then alarmed to learn that only one show will be filmed. At the Hotel bar, the ladies meet to plan their show but end up arguing and each leaving to do their own program. At the Ruby as Josh cooks, Hank tries to unburden to Oscar who doesn't care and was questioned by Karen if he egged the van. Hank then tries confess by calling the pet show. At Corner Gas, Wanda tries to curry favour with Brent but Emma and Lacey already have. Later while Brent and Hank walk on Centennial Street, Hank takes off when he sees the police. Looking for Hank, Brent evades their questions, Davis sucks up to Brent and wants Karen to flirt with him.
Just don't add any dumb ideas.
At the Ruby, the cable guy tells Lacey about the burning log program and recommends a talk show with strong opinions. Then, he separately tells Emma and Wanda that the show should have a gruff but lovable host. They each see Oscar grousing around town, which attracts a crowd, including Al Goar, in front of the Foo Mart. Hank hides out at the Hotel bar, which Brent thinks is stupid and he begins to lose patience with Hank's antics. Wanda arrives at the Leroy's to convince Oscar to be on her show but leaves when Emma arrives. Emma thinks Oscar should be on a show with someone he has chemistry with, which he thinks is Lacey. The police catch up with Hank outside the Ruby. However, he's surprised that they want him to star in a reenactment of the cable van being egged for their TV show pitch. At Corner Gas, Wanda bungles an apology to Brent while after getting Brent's permission to use his parking lot for the police show, Davis flirts with Brent.
It's about telling stories!
At the Ruby, Lacey asks Oscar to be on her show but he thinks she's coming onto him. Brent arrives and thinks Lacey's making fun of his waistline and when she apologizes, also thinks Lacey is flirting with him. With Karen filming, Davis introduces "Crimestoppers" but get annoyed when Karen continually films Hank egging the cable van. At the Ruby, Brent makes an impassioned plea to the ladies to put their differences aside but it only makes them more competitive. Karen keeps filming Hank so Davis orders her to put the camera on him and insults her. Karen quits and drops the camera, which films the field in front of Corner Gas. In the van, the cable guy and Brent watch each of the ladies' pitches, which are terrible. Oscar also makes a proposal but only for what his show won't be.
I didn't know you were in there.
Seeing all the shows are terrible, Brent is stymied which one to pick. Hearing bangs on the van, the cable guy and Brent exit to see Hank egging it, to stay in practice in case "Crimestoppers" filming starts again. Sometime later, at Corner Gas, Hank tells Brent that the cable company gave him three free months service for trying to help catch whoever egged the van. At the Leroy's, everyone who made a show pitch has gathered to see the premiere of the program Brent picked. Brent refused to tell them in advance whose show won. All are surprised that he picked footage of the field in front of Corner Gas, that the camera that Karen dropped shot. Lacey is peeved at Brent's choice but everyone else finds it soothing.