S04E08-Horseshoe rematch.jpg

"Blog River"
◀️ I, Witness Logo 01.jpg Outside Joke ▶️  Transcript Script icon.png

Season: Four — Episode: 8
Director: Mark Farrell — Writer: Paul Mather — Aired: November 6, 2006 — Viewers (millions): 1.24
Summary: Brent regrets convincing Hank to start a blog when he realizes that he's going to have to read it. When Lacey gets bummed out over a friend's recent success, the food at the Ruby goes downhill. Emma invites her to a BBQ but Lacey becomes too competitive with Oscar at horseshoes. Wanda helps Davis with his taxes with expensive results.


Logo 01.jpg Episode Cast
Main Cast


I'm the Queen of Horseshoes. Who will challenge me?
— Lacey
At Corner Gas, as Hank goes on about who would win in a fight between robots and werewolves, Brent and Wanda encourage him to write his musings in a blog. Relieved once Hank's left, Wanda and Brent begin to argue about Hank's theories. Hank starts his blog, announcing himself as a rule breaker. Later at the Ruby Cafe, Lacey apologies to Hank for giving him the wrong order. Confessing she's distracted due the success of a friend in Toronto who has become a celebrity chef, Josh tells Lacey that the dishwasher is broken. At Corner Gas, Davis complains about tax season but Wanda takes it as a challenge and offers to help Davis get a good return. Hank posts in his blog that his truck is broken.

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Black goo is coming out of the dishwasher.
At the Ruby, Hank's anatomy talk bores Emma and Oscar who are saved by Brent, asking Hank to put his thoughts in his blog. Not knowing what a blog is but eager to see Hank leave, Emma and Oscar lie they also read his blog. Hank leaves thinking his blog is a hit. At Corner Gas, Wanda convinces Davis to form a company and lease his car to it. At the Ruby, Lacey makes a fancy dish no one wants and Oscar is peeved that the cafe is offering the same soup as the day before. While writing on his blog, Hank effuses about its popularity. Later, Hank sits at the Hotel bar and saying hi to Karen, she blows by him, saying she read his blog. Karen sits with Davis and Wanda, who fill her in on everything Davis has bought for his company. Karen questions the expenses and after Davis leaves, Wanda does some analysis and realizes her tax scheme lost Davis money.

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So, a dummy company.
Hank asks Karen and Wanda, who've been joined by Brent, who's going to give him a ride home. They all ask why and Hank realizes they haven't been reading his blog and vows to quit it. To cheer Lacey up, Emma takes her to a BBQ everyone is at, but Lacey's not into it. Wanda tells Karen that she's worried that Davis will be angry when she breaks the bad financial news to him but Karen advises not telling him. Having actually read Hank's blog, Brent talks to Hank about it but Hank says it's too late and reiterates he's done writing it. Emma overhears and asks Brent to jot down a crib sheet of what was on Hank's blog, just in case Hank talks to her. Hank convinces Lacey to play horseshoes with him but warns her that Oscar's the champion. Wanda tells Davis she cost him money which depresses him. Karen comments that next Wanda is going to tell a kid there's no Santa Claus.

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If Goldfinger had been named Honeyfinger...
Breaking the fourth wall, network executive Ivan Fecan apologizes and says Santa is real. Lacey beats Hank at horseshoes and declaring herself champion, is challenged by Oscar. As Hank talks to Karen about something on his blog, Emma uses Brent's crib sheet to join in the discussion. Thinking Emma really did read his blog, Hank leaves to start it up again. Karen is impressed and learns Brent is handing out the crib sheets. Oscar beats Lacey, which depresses her. Lacey says that the important thing is that they had fun which Oscar says is a myth, like the tooth fairy. Fecan speaks again and apologizes for Oscar's remark. Oscar gloats and clanks his horseshoes, sending Lacey away in a huff. Emma worries this will effect Lacey but Oscar's sure she'll get over it.

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You make some good glow-in-the-dark points.
Later at the Ruby, Lacey's very depressed which is reflected in the poor quality of her soup, much to Emma and Oscar's distress. Hank starts up the blog again but maligns Brent for lying that he read it. At Corner Gas, Karen asks Brent for a crib sheet but he's out of them. He won't give Karen an overview, having learned that he needs to lie more convincingly. Karen suggests he post the crib sheet on-line, like a blog. At the Ruby, Lacey serves Wanda uncooked food and is in a deep depression. Emma and Wanda convince Oscar to play Lacey again at horseshoes, and let her win. On the Ruby's deck, Hank tries to cheer Lacey up but his advice to not worry doesn't help her. At the Police station, Wanda tells Davis of the rigged re-match and that he can make back the money she lost him by betting on Lacey to win.

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These are still frozen.
At the horseshoe pit, Lacey says she doesn't want to play. Trying "tough love", Hank insults her so Lacey hits him with a rock. Davis and Wanda tell Karen about the re-match and they make a bet with her. Brent tells Emma he's posted the latest crib sheet on-line and then starts to relate his own musings which are on his blog. Emma cuts Brent off and says she'll read about it on-line. Davis gets Hank to bet against Lacey. The last shot of the game hinges on Oscar missing it to improve Lacey's mood. Oscar doesn't want to lose but is reminded by Emma and Wanda of the poor soup. He throws short, Lacey wins and she feels more accomplished than her celebrity chef friend. Davis fakes surprise and tells Hank and Karen to give their money to Wanda.

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I am the Queen of Horseshoes! Clang, clang!
At the Ruby, the soup is much improved and Lacey lords her victory over Oscar. However, Oscar implies he threw the game causing denials it was rigged to Lacey and Karen. Brent talks about his blog and realizes Emma has been faking that she's read it. At Corner Gas, Karen demands her money back from Wanda but Davis says the rigged game wasn't illegal as he's not responsible for the actions of his company. At the Corner Gas pumps, Hank tells Brent he started to read his blog but got bored of it. Hank then opines in his blog that the value of a friend is that when they fail, it can make you feel better about yourself. Seeing no activity on his blog, Hank quits writing it to get a sandwich.

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No one reads them, do they?



"I mean the world needs more Hank."


Corner Gas Season Four Episodes
Hair Comes the JudgeDog River DaveTwo Degrees of SeparationJust Brent and His ShadowDemolitionJail HouseI, WitnessBlog RiverOutside JokeOne Piano, Four HandsKid StuffMother's DayCensus SensibilityThe Good Old Table Hockey GameLacey BorrowsPotato BowlSeeing ThingsHappy CampersGopher It

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