Season: Three — Episode: 15 Director: David Storey — Writer: Paul Mather & Kevin White — Aired: February 20, 2006 — Viewers (millions): 1.46 Summary: It's Dog River's 100th birthday, and Hank wants to pay tribute by building a scale model of the town using Lego blocks. He demands perfection but when he runs out of Legos, he's forced to take desperate measures. Karen becomes a laughing stock when it's learned she excelled at a sport nobody knew existed and Wanda's campaign to keep people from celebrating her birthday is too successful.
Ladies and Gentlemen, a hundred years of Dog River culminates in this!
While walking on Main Street, Brent and Hank see decorations being put up for the Dog River's Centennial celebration. Hank stresses about the celebration's contest, believing he'll have to write a poem but a veiled insult from Brent encourages Hank. At Corner Gas, Wanda isn't thrilled about her upcoming birthday and emphatically tells Brent and Emma she doesn't want anyone to do anything for it. At the Ruby Cafe, as Davis reads in the Howler that the provincial horseshoe champion is coming to the celebration, Lacey maligns horseshoes. Saying that winning in any sport is difficult, Karen reveals that she used to compete and was top five nationally, but won't say what sport. At Corner Gas, Hank announces that he's going to build a scale model of Dog River using Legos. Brent refuses to give Hank his Legos but Emma brings them for Hank.
That is so cool.
In front of the Police station, Davis harangues Karen to say what her sport was. Oscar wants to file a complaint but forgets it when Davis tells him about Karen's secret. Oscar guesses the sport is embarrassing, like rhythmic gymnastics, or that Karen quit due to a drug scandal. Davis is offended when Oscar puts down rhythmic gymnastics. At Corner Gas, as Oscar tells Brent about Karen's secret, they fall silent as Wanda and Karen enter. Wanda takes this as a sign they're planning a surprise party for her and is even more convinced when Hank arrives. Wanda leaves and talk turns to Karen's sport. Brent implores Karen to reveal it by repeating "come on!" At the Ruby as Josh cooks, Wanda complains to Lacey that Hank is with everyone at Corner Gas, scheming about her party. Wanda thinks Lacey is in on it too when, hearing that Hank is there, she excuses herself and picks up a box.
I don't want to talk about it.
At Corner Gas, Karen finally caves and says her sport was static apnea. Explaining that is involves holding one's breath underwater the longest, Brent, Hank and Oscar burst out laughing. Lacey enters with the box, followed by Wanda who's disappointed to learn the box doesn't contain a birthday cake, but is full of Legos for Hank. Brent pokes fun at Karen with a holding your breath joke. At the Ruby, Brent reads in the Howler that the horseshoe champion isn't coming, having been arrested for drugs and that Main Street is being renamed Centennial Street. Lacey is surprised Brent and Emma aren't opposed to the name change but Emma points out the every town has a Main Street, not knowing it was named after the town's founder, Harold Main. Karen arrives and ordering some soup, everyone makes puns about static apnea.
Main Street, 1905.
At Hank's house, Brent pretends his hand is a monster in the Lego Dog River Hank is building. An annoyed Hank has enough and kicks Brent out. At the Ruby, having remembered his complaint, Oscar approaches Karen. Lacey and Wanda starts up with the apnea puns causing Oscar to forget again. Outside Corner Gas, having heard that Hank is running low on blocks, Davis shows Hank Lego versions of himself and Karen. Then rolling out plans for a futuristic Police station that he wants Hank to incorporate into his model of Dog River in exchange for more Legos, Hank refuses, insisting on accuracy. At the Ruby, Lacey finds she can't stop making apnea puns as she talks to Wes. Wanda takes a comment Lacey makes to Emma as more activity about her surprise party.
The hat makes me look big.
While walking to the Dog River Hotel, Brent, Lacey and Wanda have gained a new appreciation for how hard static apnea is. Karen refuses to give a demonstration and entering the Hotel, they find a surprise birthday crowd inside. Wanda believes it's for her but is hustled aside and then discovers the party is for Wes, who's thrilled. While sleeping, Hank has a dream that he visits a Lego Corner Gas where he, Brent and Wanda are all made of the blocks. As Hank's head rolls off towards a Lego pirate, he wakes up and gets back to work. At Corner Gas, Oscar tries static apnea but breathes through his nose. At the Ruby, Brent and Lacey discuss how crabby Wanda seems since Wes' party. At the Ruby, Davis and Oscar can't get Karen to show him static apnea. Karen gives Oscar a form he can use to file a complaint.
How's your Lego thing comin'?
At Hank's, Brent admires the completed model of Dog River but points out that Hank forgot a shed that's behind Town Hall. Hank is distressed, having strived for perfection and is out of blocks. As Karen washes the police cruiser, Oscar tries to convince her to stick her head in the water bucket to show off her static apnea skills. Behind Town Hall, while looking at the shed, Hank vows to Brent that he'll overcome the obstacle it represents for the sake of his art. Later by himself, Hank burns the shed down. With the celebration on, Oscar is angry that Centennial Street is closed and looks for his complaint form. Hank tells Brent that he's burned down the shed, not knowing it was the first structure built in Dog River by Harold Main.
A fine community will grow from this shed.
About to unveil the Dog Rover Lego model, which Hank says is 100% accurate, he's interrupted by Lacey who tells everyone at the celebration that Karen is performing static apnea. Everyone leaves without seeing Hank's model. With her head stuck in the car wash bucket, Davis times Karen while the crowd cheers for her. Davis tells Brent that Karen agreed to come out of retirement for money. At the Hotel, a party is held for Wanda who's pleased. Brent and Lacey think that the other was responsible for organizing it until Paul shows them a birthday cake that Wanda ordered. Commenting on her cunning, Wanda revels in the party while pretending to protest it.
In the opening scene, the Liquor store is visible behind Brent and has the real-life "Hoff Insurance" sign up instead of the "Liquor & Insurance" sign.
Hank's Lego model of Dog River used 4,558 blocks.
Wes and Wanda have the same birthday. Years later, Wanda's driver's license would be found under the deck of the Ruby, revealing her birthday to be April 16. ("The Accidental Cleanist")
Kevin White, co-writer of the episode and executive story editor for the series, portrays Dog River's founder, Harold Main.
Jackass!: Oscar says it three times and Wanda once. Oscar calls Karen and Davis jackasses after he couldn't find them earlier to file a complaint. When Brent spoils Oscar being quiet, Wanda and Oscar call him a jackass and then Oscar tells Wanda that the word is his thing to say.
"We just found out that Karen played in a freak sport."
"For the tribute contest, I'm gonna make an exactly accurate scale model of Dog River, using Lego blocks."